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Saturday 2nd November saw mr Antill who seemed very pleased with my general progress, PSA down again but my prostate size had increased slightly and this was probably the reason for my continual water infections. next stage is for me to be admitted for a few days so the prostate could be shaved, (his words not mine) biopsies taken and a bladder examination at the same time, Kill two birds with one stone I suppose. Couldn't give me a date but is going to speak to admissions to try and hurry things...
Where the hell do I start?
My boyfriend and I where the last people to speak to my mum alive. As we were going downstairs, my dad crossed us. He gave her a kiss and stood up to close the curtains, when he turned round again, she'd gone. I have never heard a human make the noise he made. It haunts me to this day.
After that, a steady stream of officials were coming in and out the house; Dr, nurses, police, funeral director etc.
Before they took her away I went upstairs with my sister and we...
I was feeling quite pleased with my last post. Got some nice positive feedback, brightened up a few people’s day for them, and got some good suggestions for future blog entries. Everything was going perfectly until I opened an email. From a Donny Girl. Containing a recommendation for some music for me to listen to. The Osmonds.
I suppose I bought this on myself. I always said I would try out any music that was new to me. And I had to be honest and say I couldn’t name any Osmonds hit off the...
My dearest D.,
This is probably the last letter I may write publicly to you and certainly on this site. You see, it's time to leave the pain behind.......
Today arose a strange and unplanned juxtaposition of 3 significant happenings.
In your diary, you wrote for Nov 1st., 'Cancer Metastases!' That's all. Didn't really need to say anything else. 2 years ago. Your day of diagnosis. I'd stopped remembering 'dates' and 'anniversaries' and counting weeks and months since........... ...
22 days post op. 17 days home.
All going pretty well. One step forward then one step back for a week. Then two steps forward one back. Now in the land of step step step.
Stoma nurse called day 13 of post op. Now to be known as P.O. All looking good (?) red and burbling and reducing in size.
Day 14 we had call from MDT with results of biopsy of the offensive tumour formerly known as Bob.
Bob successfully removed but traces of the bad stuff found in 2 nodes. So good news dashed by the blow of having...
Ok I failed it has been a month since the last post. To be fair a week of that was spent in Sorrento, Italy with my wife and kids and we had a fantastic time. In the build up to that was more hospital visits as my wound recovered from the left groin dissection. It has healed quite nicely and best of all just before we went away I was told it was well enough to get in the pool and/or the Mediterranean on holiday and I did both. My seroma still lives with me but is not a pocket size lump which to be...
When someone dies, the opportunity for new memories dies with them. The memories that help us to remember our loved ones suddenly have to last our whole lifetime. Fear may set in - what if they fade? What if I start to forget the memories? What if, over time, they are lost? What if they simply die when I die?
Time is precious, we hear this regularly - you can't buy it, you can't save it, you can't rewind it. It carries on regardless. You are told that time heals and yet time can also...
I wish I’d never done that last post! Didn’t realise what I was going to start. My in box has been pretty busy since. I had no idea so many people wanted to be in my music blog! Unfortunately you don’t just get to be in the blog because I like you and you asked nicely. You do need to make some sort of contribution. Like recommending some songs that I might enjoy. Or reminding me of a happy memory relating to music. Or giving me the inspiration for a future blog post.
There are...
Yesterday was a good day. Drove for an hour to the motor agent for the MOT. Once home found I could climb the stairs with two cups of tea for the first time in weeks. Rested in the evening then, -BOOM! something went and I could hardly move around the house. Pain in the right buttock region.
Today not good. Struggled with the chores. Wife is in trouble with her knees and shoulder and needs my help. Her consultant rheumatologist has been NBG so far and we don't know what to do. Just made it to the...
After having a lumpectomy and having one infected lymph node out of ten, the surgical team and medical team are at disagreement over whether I should have chemotherapy. I am 50 yrs old and in the middle of the spectrum. My surgical team thinks radiotherapy and tamoxafin should do the trick but the medical team at christies think I should have chemotherapy and I have to make the decision. I don't know what to decide. Is there anyone else who has had this same dilemma and if so what did you decide...
