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hi there every-one - well i have had more tests done again - went for a scan on my jaw and biopsy on lymphnode in my neck yesterday - i am seeing the specialist again on tuesday so hoping they will be able to give me some idea as to how we are going to fight this thing - this waiting and having tests done is realy hard but then i suppose it is only in our own interests that they do this - they need to get a full picture of what is going on then they are able to offer us the proper treatment plan for...
well, i managed to get through the meeting with social services. there were two people there and a woman taking notes. i also took notes. i think that they had intended to wrap it up there and then, and push the whole awkwardly inconveniant episode behind them. awkwardly inconveniant being my father's end of life care or lack of, being undermedicated when dying in pain, lack of nursing and more.
they began with telling me the positives that had come from the experience. that the nursing home...
I lost my husband on 13th september, i know it was only 7 weeks ago but i just feel completely lost, the only thing keeping me going is my 12yr old son. Everything just seems so pointless, i really don't want to go anywhere or do anything, friends keep telling me how strong i'm being but they don't know how i really feel inside as i can't talk to anyone about what happen or about how i really feel, how can i talk to anyone or tell them when i can't put any of it into words. Weekends are the worst...
After using the front line title in my last blog was maybe a bit psychic of me. Today I went back to work, I called the hospital this morning before I left to check dad was ok, his blood pressure had come up a little and he had a comfy night which was good news. Mum went to see him this afternoon and she said he was drowsy so there wasnt much conversation, I expected him to be pretty much the same when I got there tonight, man was I wrong. I have never seen him so worked up and angry and frustrated...
Got my seasonal flu jab on Monday. Pretty uneventful, just a bit tired later on. Government circular recommends getting swine flu jab too as high risk, but GP says no. Another question for the consultant.
Still getting back pain. Painkillers barely touch it. Seeing the consultant about on Wednesday when I have the next chemo shot. Hopefully it's just muscular and not a result of the melanoma spreading. Fingers crossed.
Well he done it !! He has managed to get home after 7 weeks of all sorts of infection. They will see him in the clinic next Thursday and decide then when to do the Bone Marrow Aspiration then it will be discussed when Transplant will go ahead, it appears not to be the 9th of Dec now who knows when I suspect this side of the year though as he will need to have more chemo if not.
Hopefully we will manage to get a decent sleep now that he is home
Love Teri
Well I am so upset today. Mums has now been told the rotten AML is back......
nothing they can do as she already has a terminal fungal liver infection. Why is life so unfair to those that are so lovely
I only began writting on this site yesterday - brought on by feelings of depair & being alone. I felt guilty for having moaned about myself after reading other stories, but in a funny way it's somehow nice to belong -------- just a shame about the requirements for membership eh!
It's pouring with rain here today, so even the sky is looking miserable. Trying my best to buck-up my ideas & remain positive about things in general, but it's a damned struggle today.
Thanks to everybody...
I am writing this Blog page to all of you out there caring for a loved one to pass on my message about how important it is to take care of yourself. Amongst all the things that go on in that process of care, we tend to forget ourselves. I know I did…
My partner Robert diagnosed with lung cancer Summer 2008 and our worlds were blown apart.
There were hospital appointments, websites, books, leaflets, brochures to read, medication/treatments to understand and in the centre of all this...
an hour or go til this meeting is over with. social services outcome of investigation into complaint made about G.L.W., my father. not a number, old person, dying person, dead person, non-person, doesnt matter anymore person.
will take notes. wont respond immediately. my mantra. feel pathetically useless, wondering why i am doing this, no, i know why, he was treated so bloody badly and he is my daddy...was. is.
*sigh*
two days ago i sipped a bit of his leftover morphine. this is really getting...
