If I could go back to the day of my cancer diagnosis

5 minute read time.

1 Feb 2024

If I could go back to the day of my cancer diagnosis

The moment of a cancer diagnosis can feel like stepping into uncharted territory, bombarded with unfamiliar terms and overwhelming emotions. As we approached the end of 2023, we posed some questions to the Online Community, inviting members to reflect on the day of their diagnosis.

“If you could go back and speak to yourself at the time of diagnosis:

What words of comfort, advice or encouragement would you offer?
What lessons have you learnt that you wish you knew from the start?
What wisdom or guidance would have made a difference?”

Community members replied with some profound insights and reflections. Here are snippets from some of the members’ responses.

Reflections from the Online Community

“When you are first diagnosed with cancer you are plunged into a whole new world with very little understanding of it. The doctors start throwing around words you have never heard of, and you sit there wondering what questions to ask as it is all so overwhelming. I would advise taking a notebook and someone along with you as it is hard to recall so much info in a stressful situation. Jot down as much as you can so you can reflect on what has been said. Don't be afraid to ask questions especially the big one 'what is my prognosis?" You can spend hours worrying otherwise that might not be necessary.

Understand that your treatment may be a long journey which can be difficult but in the end, there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel. Keep positive and distract yourself as much as possible while waiting for test results as nothing is gained by worrying about it. Hard to do but distraction helps.”

Community member, Life after cancer forum

“My husband is 12 months since they found he had oesophageal cancer. I think the main thing we would tell ourselves is to push for the start of the chemo. They found it on 30 December last year and yet we didn’t start chemo until 8th March! It would have been a week later as the oncologist was going on holiday, but I pushed for someone else to sort it. They spent a long time looking at it. So much so that the scans showed it not invading other structures, but due to the delay, by the time of the operation they found it had wrapped around the aorta and if it had been left longer would have made surgery not an option. We are now just starting 25 days of chemoradiation as the margins from the surgery weren’t clear. Also, it is a marathon not a sprint and everyone needs to look after themselves including the carer.”

Community member, Cancer chat forum

If I could go back in time I would have got my symptoms checked out earlier. Once diagnosed I would have put myself first instead of trying to fit my investigations around work. I would have taken time off instead of working until my surgery date. At the time, I was very stressed, in pain and obviously distracted. I had trouble sleeping and lost my appetite. I didn't have healthy coping strategies. I had work pressure as I needed to take time off.

I have since read around the subject of the mind-body connection. My cancer abruptly transitioned to aggressive (my hospital letters state this). I would be very interested to know when that process started and if I went back in time, would I be able to influence a different outcome by looking after myself better? I became stage 4 within 4 months of diagnosis.

It has taken me a long time to realise that I put everyone before myself and that is not a healthy way to live. As the saying goes - if you don't make time for yourself and your health, your body will force you to make time for your illness (or words along those lines). I would be a lot kinder to myself if I could go back in time.”

Community member, Emotional Support forum

“I would say recovery from major surgery can be a rollercoaster of emotions. Accept that some days/weeks will be much better than others. Listen to your body and go with whatever it is telling you. If you need to rest you must rest. When you feel better perhaps think about a gentle hobby you can do to help pass the time or provide motivation. I have learnt to be more relaxed and patient. You can gain a lot of mental strength going through cancer. I do wish more medical help had been offered. It was so lonely being at home alone recovering during the pandemic. That was the lowest point for me as I had no help from the GP or the specialist nurse. I did receive support from being part of this community and that has meant a great deal.”

Community member, Emotional support forum

We’d love to hear from you

If you would like to take a moment to add to the discussion, feel free to post your reflections or thoughts in the comments below. Your shared experience and insights can offer invaluable support and encouragement to those who might be at the beginning of their cancer journey.

You are not alone

If you are struggling today and in need of support, it's important to remember that you don’t have to go through this alone. Someone at Macmillan would love to chat with you. Our support team are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat.

SMP 9 months ago

I would not have asked the nurse to check out the small lump under my arm. She immediately spoke to the doctor and the whole business have made chaos in my life for 2.5 months so far. It’s been a roller coaster and I wish I had not been diagnosed as I’m refusing anything but hormonal treatment and my peaceful life has been badly disrupted.
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Ricepud 9 months ago

I wish they told me these plans can change as we will be doing a few more scans. I was told it would be a lumpectomy early December and a little bit of radiotherapy. But more things were found, so things got pushed back and plans changed several times. I understand they were being thorough to give me the best pathway. But should have warned me things could change. Its been a rolletcoaster of emotions and 4 months later had a mastectomy and that was because of daily chasing. NEVER feel a nuisance to ask anything as often as you need to.
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Ive seen the light 9 months ago

When I was diagnosed with cancer in my spine and prostate I treated nurses and doctors bad .I'm sorry for what I done I'm waiting for chemotherapy. My life as changed forever. I wanna se Birmingham City win fa Cup and m u
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ellie 73 9 months ago

The day i was diagnosed, that was going to be a special year, for our family. Was my hubbys 70th birthday, our golden wedding, and eldest grandson getting married.

I never thought from that day, i would see any of them, though i did, i was positive from day one and stubborn.

Been a long journey at times, i trust my oncologist, , and in all this time, have never seen anther one..

I have learnt so much, really about myself some good and some bad, i i stand up for myself, which i never done before diagnosis, having this stage 4 from day one, i help others, on this site, as much as i can, if possible.

Cancer does not define me, i am still me, and my cancer is at the back of the queue
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Steph - Macmillan 9 months ago in reply to SMP

Hi SMP

It's Steph here from the Community team. Thank you for commenting on Dylan's blog, although I am sorry to hear that you feel like you wish you had not been diagnosed.

I hope it is helping to be able to talk everything through with members in the breast cancer forum.

I remember you saying that you have been struggling with some of the abbreviations in the research papers shared. Please remember that you can also ask questions to our experts and speak to our Support Line about how you are feeling.

Our Support Line teams are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat.

Take care, SMP and please do keep talking on the forums. We are here for as long as you need us.
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