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Well it is progressing now and I can see more changes in Mum.Totally bed ridden now very sleepy and confused.
Sometimes her chat can be good and other times difficult and slow. I did not sleep last night as I was worrying myself silly.. whats next ? what to expect ? will I cope ? is she in pain ..I always ask her but she says not so that s a blessing I suppose.
I can cry in a instant and hate what this has done to Mum . its not gone as we planned but I suppose nothing can be for certain and you...
This is my first blog, and probably the first time i've felt like going into any depth about losing my mum to breast and lung cancer, but here it goes, i know i'll probably flood my keyboard with tears but its ok because i have a spare one.
My mum battled cancer for three years and battled depression and other demons for over 40 years before that. My dad left when i was too young to remember so i suppose my mum was the main mother and father figure in my life, always full of compassion and...
...when you're having fun. Ha, had to stop myself saying this to someone today.
Those who have given me words of encouragement know it hasn't been so for me but it's hard to believe that six months has passed since my post surgery results.
Today I managed to get into work in time for a 9:00am meeting, a first since my diagnosis. I certainly wasn't silent and got lots sorted but most importantly I took my suit jacket off in front of everyone. How good did that feel when I realised...
Been to see the onc, I will be having FEC and then Hecptin, back on the 8th to see the chemo nurses who will run through everything with me, she has said I will propley have a line put in as my vains arnt much good, had to have bloods done today and it took them 3 attempts to get enough.
Im entered in a dog show on the 10th and she said they could work round that and not start the chemo till after that which is nice. I have got to have some sort of heart scan too and have a check up with bcn on...
It is now Thursday and nothing is getting better, if anything i feel even worse, now i have terrible diaorrhhea, i can't keep out the toilet. I have crippling pains in my belly and i feel like i'm going to faint. Every thing i do, i do with my eyes shut, so as to keep the dizzyness to a minimum. I'm not eating or drinking now, as i feel so terribly sick, i have managed to ring my hospital again and they have rung my g.p. and told him to give me some anti sickness tablets, but they are not working...
