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Well I finally found my way here after a bit of trying. Strange really few weeks ago I wanted to leave but then when I couldn't sign in I went into complete panic!
Still not sure whether I should stay or go really. Its been just over 8 months since losing my Mum and it just isn't getting any better! People kept telling me it would get easier but it just isn't!!
I miss my Mum every single day and still some days can't believe she has really gone. I have like a video playing in my...
Well, my Mum is just about to go for her final chemo tomorrow and I will go with her for support, she has got through the other 5 cycles really well, no sickness, no major side effect, just two blood transfusions due to white cells being a little low. Looking back to how she was back at the end of May waiting to start Chemo and the little white book she was given with all the potential side effects, I know I wondered then just how bad it was going to beand would she be strong enough to cope.
Now...
My Dad is very poorly at the moment with pancreatic cancer. He spends most of his time sleeping. Some days he is able to still get up but only for a short time, he spends more and more time sleeping sometimes going into a confused coma like state. We have been told by the nurses that this is something that could happen and one day we may not be able to wake him.
I am starting to panic a little about how to cope when Dad dies. How do I cope and stay strong for my Mum, my sister, my children when I...
Better news tonight Berts Liver scan results are fine he just has fatty deposits on and around his liver nothing more sinister.
He was feeling a little better today although he slept all through visiting allowing me time to read my book and relax was that not very thoughtful of him.
Temp stayed down today, which is more good news. Tomorrow he is to have another 2 units of blood and platelets so he should have some colour in his cheeks.
I feel as if I could just cut and paste all this from his...
Hi Mummy
I hope you are OK today. Im not too good at the moment.
James and Kay popped over quick this afternoon and we had a chat about Daddy and her. Things aren't good and I have felt a bit neglected by Baz lately. I spoke to James about her going into his room and he thinks she has been. That isnt right is it? Its not her place to do that. More to the point why is she even going into their rooms.
James told me he did all the housework top to bottom and Daddy didnt notice it but when she...
two boys their dad has them every other weekend thats if he not too busy
tonight phones my eldest14 year old i tried to listen into hear my son say no im settled here, turns out his dad asked ryan if he wants to live with him! inside im shouting No way! over my dead body!! i feel sick but keep my cool tell my son that he has to be honest and if any problems he has to tell me and i asked does he want to live with his dad he says no. But i still feel panicked my boys have a great life with me i have...
Hello to everyone, my first time on line and i'm slightly scared of this but here goes, my hubby is slowly slippin back into the old drinking ways after having 13 rounds of chemo, 5 left until next scan in Dec. Im terrified he is a walking timebomb with all of the mediaction/chemo he is on. On average i reckon he drinks approx 8 units a day unlike the 15 prior to diagnosis, still racking my brains re life expectancy but worried this will speed things up, anyone with any real knowledge, I dont...
I think that in writing this blog it may help me rationalise my life, I cant go the GP's for help and yet I know I need it. Its been a tough few years and getting AML has been just part of my problems. I am so sad and afraid and really wish I had the guts to end it all, but Im just a coward. I cant keep all this insiide amymore and Im sorry if this upsets people but I have to get it out.
I cant write it all at one time so Il think I will have to do it in episodes but where do I start.
Hello - We found out yesterday (22th Sept 2009) that my boyfriends mom's cancer is untreatable.
She first developed bowl cancer last November and then a different cancer in her liver developed in February this year. After what we all thought was a successful operation to remove part of the liver followed by chemotherapy, the results of a PET scan yesterday showed that four more tumours were now in her lower abdomen and subsequently inoperable and therefore terminal. We are all in a state of shock...
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