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It's been a month since my last update, I'm not sure why I never found time over the last month, I just struggled to organise my thoughts enough to put them in to some sort of order.
Over the last month Ned has been in and out of hospital as an inpatient, really struggling with nausea. The doctors believe this might have been caused by the proximity of the tumour and treatment to his brain stem, but they can't be sure of that. Thankfully we haven't seen a return of the horrible blood vomit...
I have had quite a few good days recently. I survived the festive season. I returned to work. I have socialised. I have shopped for the occasional treat. I have even eaten some spinach rather than a takeaway. Not that a single of these days has passed without some tears, but I have been functioning well. But life currently feels like the Goliath of grief is sparring with the tiny David inside me that feels more intensely alive and determined to live well than ever before, and the big guy is winning...
Im finding it hard to find travel insurance under £2000.00, ive tried 21 insurers so far and awaiting a quote from 2 but expecting the same sort of quote. I have a prognosis of 6/12 months but responding well to chemo and feel in good health, i have no pain or aches and pains except for the symptoms of chemo. One conpany quoted me 800.00 but since ringing them again they have said i needed to be six wks clear of chemo but told me 3wks clear when i first rang them, which i find disgusting,that they...
I noticed I couldnt swallow properly. I went to my GP who sent me to hospital for tests. For some reason at my first appointment the doctor couldnt see the cancer in the larynx. This caused an unnecessary delay. In the end after more tests it was found. I complained that one doctor to check is not good enough, or at least a film should have been made of it.
Anyway I was admitted into hospital for a biopsy. Due to my age they were not prepared to do just radio and chemo but also surgery. I think this...
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Hello,
This is my Story!
I realized soon after my first breast cancer diagnosis in 2005 that my body as well as my mind will be seriously affected. But its only after my second diagnosis 2016 that I started documenting everything that helped me - on this ever-stretching road of Anger, Frustrations, Confusion, Fatigue, Pain and Boredom. Bored of the same story, a story that's lasting for 10 years and more? a story I'm tired to tell, and that bores me just thinking about it. So I pushed everyone...
Here I am at the six week mark and it feels like I am beginning to come through the worst of the early stages of this drug. The wisdom from women and doctors who have used Rucaparib is that the first four to six weeks can be tough but then things start to ease. And six weeks in I am finally beginning to feel a bit better. It's like the very heavy weight I was under has been lifted. I am still tired but not right down to my bones. I still need a sleep in the day and could not contemplate working but...
Hoping this will hep! Writing my journey down tomorrow hopings diagnosed with cancer about 4 weeks ago. I had an emergency operation to remove the tumour in my bowel as it was causing a blockage which was making me throw up all the time, i thought i had irratable bowel syndrome. This is what i was admitted to hospital for and dehydration. I had an endoscopy and thats how they discovered the blockage, then i was being sick again and bleedng from the bowel so I was admitted again and they did the...
The Ultrasound endoscopy coincided with my having to do a 300 mile round trip later that afternoon to pick up my children - so, even though anaesthetic was offered, I opted for a liberal throat spray which meant I could drive straight afterwards... Though the ultrasound tube was a little thicker than the normal jobby, there was nowhere near the hideous discomfort of the biopsy... though Dr Jones was in there looking around and taking measurements for quite a bit longer... so... if you've been through...
Wednesday 4th January.
Today has been a day of passing time, I made a huge pan of vegetable soup and some bread this morning just to keep me busy. Tomorrow I have an appointment with my oncologist, I really want to go, but I really don't want to go at the same time.
I lost my Mum ten years ago but I've been thinking about her all day today, I know if she was still here that I would feel calmer. I'm always the 'mother' the sorter outer, the organiser, but she was my mother, my sorter outer...
15 Dec 2016
I am not physically homeless. I am lucky. I have a roof over my head and can afford heating and lighting. The streets around me are not being shelled or bombed.
Emotionally, though? I have no home any more. I never realised until now how much that sense of security depended on your presence. I can't find any peace in this house, but neither is it to be found in my parents' house or a friend's house or the hotel room I retreated to desperately at one point, or anywhere else....
