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Monday 9th January 2017
Well after the euphoria of yesterday, today I came crashing down, to be fair I knew that nothing could match yesterday, but I didn't realise how fragile my emotions are.
I got up feeling positive, took my temperature, that's always an stress, but it was fine. I phoned my daughter to see how she and the baby were and then the district nurse to check I was on the list for the blood test, she confirmed I was and said she would see me this morning. Then I ordered...
Hello. I am almost 69, born with Spina Bifida, had a mastectomy in 1994 and was told in the most insensitive manner in October that I might have lung cancer. Turns out I have. It is in both lungs, so no surgery, isn't terminal, can't be cured so I am lined up for palliative chemo, starting on 18th Jan, to say nothing of a lengthy kidney test tomorrow and a Chemo Talk next week. I was fine over Christmas but now I don't really want to have Chemo as it is only delaying the inevitable and I seem to...
Sunday 8th January,
Today I became a nana, what a day! Everything people said is true, I have fallen in love with this little boy and I haven't even met him yet. I have had photos, videos, FaceTime phone calls on and off all day, at first it was hard seeing him and not being able to touch him or smell him, but after a while I just couldn't get enough.
I was so worried because when I had my daughters I had terrible births, haemorrhaging and many problems, so it's been a stressful time...
As an ex-infant teacher, I know that if you focus on misbehaviour, the other children tend to join in because that is what gets your attention. When we were all sitting as a group, I had 3 stages for dealing with misbehaviour: 1) Compliment the children behaving well. That had the effect of pulling all the other children into line and often stopped the misbehaviour, 2) If needed, a support staff member would sit by the child and encourage them quietly, or sometimes just to be with them was enough...
My hair has been slowly drifting out during my 5 sessions of chemo (last one tomorrow, hopefully). Rather than having it shaved, i had it cut very short after the first round and have been watching it become thinner until now i need to stand with the light above or in front of me as if it is behind me, I look as if I have a halo around a bald head. While some continues to fall, some has started growing, so I have a tufty patch on the top of my head which stands up on end and began to keel over, resembling...
Hi im due to have surgery for my tumour removal and was just wondering if anyone has been through this and can give me advice. I have been told ill have a temporary ileostomy bag and a catheter as i have to have part of my bladder removed to get a clear margin.
I really couldn't be bothered with Xmas this year... Something I didn't mention in the previous blog was that Dr Dhinakaran had asked me to chase up my previous chemotherapy notes to find out what had gone on.. Which I'm my bewilderment I'd agreed to do... And then managed to get hold of my key worker and his secretary to recind... How odd.
I think this sums up my frame of mind... Befuddled to the point of stupid... I'm not sure who I am... What my objectives are... What my purpose...
So this was my first exposure to oncology and I have to say... Rather bewildering... I'm going to generously put his lack of preparation down to it being 23rd Dec and his assuming that I was a simple case to get booked in... But to say that the interview was disjointed was an understatement...
I am happy to accept that specialist doctors are sometimes not blessed with the best Bedside manner and am going to assume that there are enough people there to know what's going on... But... He...
When I first had the diagnosis I was expecting the bad news having done some background research; I think this numbed the impact of having to look it in the face and do something about it... If at all possible...
Clearly there are a number of outcomes, none of which are pleasant and I had to haul myself in on the catastophisation... And concentrate on going through this a step at a time...
Consider also that people who are close to me will be deeply affected by the process and outcomes...
Made it.... Made it.... Made it... Got to 50 and then the year anniversary of diagnosis...
Lucky, lucky me.... So why do I not feel full of glee...
So very long staying positive, determined and strong...
So very many hospital appointments smiling and even having a giggle...
So much humour and kindness to give...
So little time to feel the enormity and move through the trauma....
The all consuming Chemo over and done with, hardest part over you'd think...
Ha, fooled ya, the worst is to come...
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