Friday 17th March 2017
I'm sitting here on this rainy Friday afternoon feeling rubbish. But knowing that the last chemo has been done is helping the rubbish feeling. I'm actually glad it's pouring down and going to rain all weekend because i don't intend to do anything!
I worked hard all day yesterday, like an idiot, and this morning, but then the side effects hit at lunch time, so that's it, time to slow down.
My throat is sore, my mouth is 'furry' my eyes are watering and my bones are aching! Oh what fun. But in a few days I should start to feel better, I still can't believe that the district nurse won't be coming to do blood tests anymore or that I won't have to suffer these side effects again. That's what's keeping me going right now. I want to enjoy that feeling for a while before I start worrying about the next phase of treatment. At least the dreaded chemo part is done.
I don't know what the future holds for me, and it does scare me, I'd be a liar if I said differently, but I also know I'm going to try my best to be positive, for my daughters and husband and make the most of every day, and I will certainly appreciate every day that I feel well now!
I've tried my best so far, it's been tough, I feel like I've been holding in a deep breath and maybe I can let it out soon....but just not yet! I've got the surgeons appointment on Monday, pre op assessment the following week, then surgery, then radiation..........then maybe sometime in May/June, I can let that breath out and give myself a bit of a break!
Stop this ride....I want to get off!!!
