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So the last 3 weeks of my life have been life changing for me and even more so for the special person in my life.
Only 32years old, going to boot camp fitness classes 3 times a week she began to get a cough.
After a few days of nagging she finally got some cough medicine from the chemist but of course this didn't work.
Whilst I was away I recieved a photo of her at the doctors on a nebuliser. In my mind I was saying to myself - I knew this would happen she doesn't look after herself...
Well I saw the consultant surgeon who did the Ivor Lewis and removed 10 lymph nodes. Unfortunately 4 of the lymph nodes had cancer cells in them, so I have been given a 20-25% chance of survival up to 5 years. I may live beyond 5 years or, I may not live as long as 5 years. It may return within 18 months as apparently it is an aggressive type of cancer. I feel like I've been given a suspended death sentence. However if I didn't have the surgery I probably would not have as long as that! At least...
So today has been another good day. Mum wanted to go Christmas shopping, it was a lovely idea and a great way to spend some quality time together. We set off with a plan, to just visit one shop. If you read my last blog you'll be aware that mums health has deteriorated in the last few weeks. Her walking and mobility has declined but she is such a determined and positive person. I am incredibly proud of her.
I managed to find a car parking space near the shop so I thought I was winning...
Friday 25th November 2016
Well I don't know what to feel today, I'm up, temperature taken, got to sort out a wig appointment this morning, tidy around, pop to the shops to get a baby soft tooth brush, and then thats it, third trip to the hospital this week, but this is the biggie, chemo starts at 1.30pm. Hopefully the last visit there for twenty one days.
I feel that at least I am doing something about this mess now.
The last three weeks have been an unimaginable hell, (much of it private...
Week 2 commences. Frankly, lifting my finger to tap at the iPad keyboard feels like a mission today. I made the mistake of having a short swim, making supper and having the neighbours round yesterday. Really, this business of managing the fatigue is just too dull.
Read up on fatigue and the key messages are (1) it's not helped by sleep. True enough in my experience but the urge to sleep is overwhelming. A morning and an afternoon nap yesterday. (2) gentle exercise helps. Again, true. I'm so glad...
Okay, here I am writing a blog.. never done it before in my life - I can talk for England but can I actually write? mmmmm.. okay, potted history coming up now - dodgy breast with nipple pointing downwards, scared the life out of me but my doctor didn't seem that concerned - I mean it was pointing south and it normally sat pretty much in the middle of the compass... suggested that at my age I should go for my mammogram.. thank god I did, biopsy later, breast cancer... but not that bad.. next appointment...
How do you deal with the fact that your mum has been given a terminal cancer diagnosis? That's what I have been trying to figure out over the lasts 3 months.
So it's been a few days since my last post.., but that hasn't meant that lots hasn't happened. Just that I haven't had a moment to stop and reflect.
On Sunday night Ned got really poorly and started throwing up blood. In a mad panic we raced to our local A&E, where he was taken straight through to be seen. He was still vomiting but there was less blood, and he was tachycardic. They contacted the ENT doctor from the specialist hospital and he drove over to examine him personally. It...
Thursday 24 November 2016
Today was almost a repeat of yesterday. We walked the dogs before going to the hospital for the pre chemo meeting. The meeting went on and on, but I have to say that the nurse was very thorough, and she had a great sense of humour! Lots of scary stuff and side effects explained, but what choice do I have? Im happy that there is a treatment, however brutal it is. I'm going to hope for the best and be glad I'm starting the treatment in 17.5 hours. At least I know what to...
I don't expect anyone to read this. However it's almost 2 am, I can't sleep yet I'm so very tired. I'm fed up of googling my cancer, or worrying that I've pulled a muscle near my scar - I thought getting my thoughts down might be therapy...
