Okay, here I am writing a blog.. never done it before in my life - I can talk for England but can I actually write? mmmmm.. okay, potted history coming up now - dodgy breast with nipple pointing downwards, scared the life out of me but my doctor didn't seem that concerned - I mean it was pointing south and it normally sat pretty much in the middle of the compass... suggested that at my age I should go for my mammogram.. thank god I did, biopsy later, breast cancer... but not that bad.. next appointment .. bad - mastectomy of right breast, but should get rid of it... next appointment - spread to lymph nodes and all removed!!! bloody hell... next appointment... spread to bones and other lymph nodes... ok, now I'm really scared. But... its treatable. So why do I feel so lonely... I have sussed it out. I know from statistics that 1 in 8 women have this...so when I am out shopping I look around and put it into perspective.. but for the life of me I can't seem to meet anyone 'like me' - where are these 1 in 8 women!!. So thought I'd do this instead. First I want to say that I feel like I have joined a club - I didn't want to join and certainly didn't look for it online but hey, I got my pack and my cheap parking and free prescriptions and here I am.. what I have learnt is that when you join you meet the most amazing people - consultants, nurses, OT's, others etc etc - and I cannot praise them enough. Me, I'm a blubbering mess when I go for my 4 monthly check ups and my consultant is calm with a cuddle and a smile, truthful but 'normal' at the same time and I trust her... my monthly treatments, I'm treated like a queen, massages, chats, art clubs and relaxation.. so why do I feel so lonely. Because I am not in control.. my body is and there is nothing I can do about it... end of... and there is noone that can tell me how long I will feel like this - could be couple of years, could be 20 years.. but 'could be' is the issue..... okay, potted history over... and enjoyed writing this.. what can I give back for all the support I am getting, cos I ain't never gona have the fitness to climb a mountain.. if it is just this, then so be it.. I'll see if anyone reads and likes, loads more to write.. oh and love to you all.... xx
