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Oh to feel like I did for the last blog entry. So optimistic then that all was going well So the weeds (mets) had their comeback at me and I've been feeling low the past two days. The pains got worse so that walking was difficult and picking things up from the floor, -better avoided if possible. I have to use tricks like holding onto things as I bend. Thank goodness my arms remain strong and, once upright, I can carry or lift heavy things if I need to. I've been working on the garden wall these...
I've noticed over the past few weeks that I've started dreaming again.
I've always been very interested in dreaming and have several books about it. A while ago I got heavily into teaching myself how to lucid dream, and unfortunately after that I 'stopped' dreaming completely.
Last night we were watching TV and I must have dosed off for a minute.
I had one of those really short but really vivid dreams, it seemed to only last about 30 seconds. I was sat on the floor near our...
When it's the amount of weeks you are about to endure under chemotherapy. For the second time!
I, like many before me am facing the upheaval, worry and uncertainty of my cancer coming back.
There has been a good amount of resolve settle over the last few days. Throughout my experience with having had cancer I managed some laughs at It's expense. I became an active member of the Macmillan blog community for a short period during 2009 and then later in 2010. And here I am again. The pledge I...
Feeling all over the place today, I can't keep up with myself. Everytime i think i'm getting somewhere, i feel like i fall flat on my face again.
Has anyone got any advice on how i can distract myself from this hell?!
Wow...it's been AGES since I've blogged. I have been meaning too but every
time I have gone to blog I've made excuses not to...I don't know why. I just
feel like shutting everything away sometimes. Of course I'm now regretting it
because I worry that I will forget things about Dad that I have been meaning to
write about :(
Things have been really tough lately. I went through a couple of months of
being strong...I only realise now, now that I'm feeling weak as anything, that...
So my best friend got engaged. Jelous? Yep. Not the engagement bit, I'm just really jealous that somebody else has something great going on in their life and I don't. I feel like a bitch and rightly so.
I have gratefully accepted my role as Cheif Bridesmaid and despite what I've just said I am genuinely happy for her and her boyfriend and I hope they have a long, happy life together. So I will instead focus on the fact that somebody wants me to be their bridesmaid and share their special...
At the age of 15 i struggled to come to terms with accepting my mum had breast cancer, even though there was a cure for it. Now, I'm 19 and I'm beside myself wondering how I'm ever going to come to terms with the fact, my mums cancer is back, but this time also in her spine and pelvis with no cure available. Although my mum is currently undergoing treatment (radio and chemo therapy) to control it, the thought of what the future holds scares the hell out of me because i know it won't work...
I grew up surrounded by songs from the musicals. I didn’t want to be. I loved pop music, the sort they played on Radio Luxembourg. Songs that you listened to on that transistor radio tucked under your pillow at night. On Sundays the extended family would all get together. If the weather was fine then the younger generation would escape outdoors somewhere. Otherwise we were trapped inside with the adults. It wasn’t so bad when music was being played on the gramophone. Unfortunately these...
I saw the oncologist yesterday. Charming man, very tall and difficult to follow his speech as he talks very fast and wishes to communicate so much information that his words become convoluted.
The outcome was that I am on the correct treatment for my stage of the disease. My symptoms from the bicalutamide may improve so that I am less tender on the chest. If and when the metastases in my pelvic bones cease to be controlled there are other drugs that can be tried. The Stampede trial was mentioned...
I'm feeling selfish at the moment, its not fair that my mum has to go through all of this, its not fair that my mum has to wake up feeling like crap each day, not being able to do the normal stuff she does. Its not fair that she has me and dad pleading with her to stay awake for 2 minutes so she can eat a little and drink a little and pressurising her to do little exercises to keep her moving as much as possible.
I have to think about going back to Canada, I have been home almost 3 months now...
