Oh to feel like I did for the last blog entry. So optimistic then that all was going well So the weeds (mets) had their comeback at me and I've been feeling low the past two days. The pains got worse so that walking was difficult and picking things up from the floor, -better avoided if possible. I have to use tricks like holding onto things as I bend. Thank goodness my arms remain strong and, once upright, I can carry or lift heavy things if I need to. I've been working on the garden wall these last few days and the worse part has been trying to mix the sand and cement for the mortar. Very painful but worth it once mixed as I can carry the bricks easily and place them.
Sometimes I start the day full of energy but go flop after lunch and into the afternoon. I can't walk properly now but have to 'throw' each leg forward with the knees and push off with the foot and ankle. Walking to the GP surgery (a mile or more each way) seems impossible right now. Yesterday I felt like going to 'the room' and having a good scream, indulging myself with horrible thoughts that my treatment isn't working and the weeds are spreading in this warm weather. Today I can write about it as things are not too bad after all.
Just to let anyone who reads this that I'm as frightened as anybody about cancer. To read that mood swings are one of the possible side effects of bicalutamide and decaserpyl doesn't help much when you're feeling low. Thank you for your patience with me.
This evening came to the MacMillan site as usual to read other people's entries. Somehow this helps me and I'd like to help others if I can. Mood up again just now and looking forward to my evening meal cooked by my head chef (dear wife). Thanks for listening to this bit of a rant from an aged member of the PC Group. Hope for better feelings tomorrow.
