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I collected her ashes today and settled the bill at the same time. She is now in the Conservatory, facing the garden she loved, while I have spent the evening getting all her clothing ready to take to the LOROS shop in the morning. She wanted her ashes in 3 places, some in her garden, some on her fathers grave and some on her favourite hillside outside Urbino in Italy - where her family come from and where she still has relatives.
I'm having a bit of chill time tonight with a bottle of Grolsch and...
In the words of the late great John Lennon.... . But I think in our case it's "Cancer is what happens when you are busy making other plans"
Reading some other blogs, wouldn't it be nice if we could just jump off sometimes and do one thing at a time? But although you think your world stops when you hear those words, it doesn't does it? and all the other silly little 'life' stuff just keeps on going... and then people say oh should you be moving now?? shouldn't you be taking it easy?? yeah...
Couldnt do Daves biopsy today.................................NO CANCER
Cant stop crying ........... eyes look like piss holes in the snow .......mmmm maybe not the best expression to use ....oh who cares anyway, I bloody dont.
Want to scream my joy from the top of the roof but havent got a ladder big enough !!!!!!! Suppose the next best thing would be to climb in the loft again and do it..........Might scare the natives though.
Just had a vision of me in...
Doesn't time move slowly sometimes.
I've now tried the pre-op stoma pack, talked to two patients & done more research. Everyone seems happy with their chosen op, but of course haven't been able to try the other to compare. Neither feels quite right for me.
Most seem to have had to have urgent surgery - my process feels immensely drawn out. I'm concious that it's now 3 months since the initial tumour was removed and I'm fearful that an invasive recurrence will pop up before I get...
well i've started my phased return to work. few half days and a full day tomorrow. bit tired after work but nothing major. still having problems with constipation which wears me down but i cant really complain. my biggest fear is the unknown. i was visited a few times in hospital from a pal ronnie who had just had an op for bladder cancer. he was doing well and looked great. fast forward 6 weeks and he is now in a hospice with the cancer spread thru his bones. he can bearly talk and this big lump...
It all come to a head yesterday, I just wanted to get everything off my chest, maybe I am tied but it came I admitted to Tim that I am bloody scared, I might still laughing and joking at work or with friends, but I let this horrible feeling surfaced. I was thinking what if ....... I call this the dark side I got 3 children aged 4, 14, 16 a wonderful partner of 3 years whom has a 13 son, my family won't except him, so I am natural worried what will happen to them. I am worried I like to be in...
For each and every one of you,
Imagine I'm there in front of you,
With arms wide open just for you.
Imagine I move nearer to you,
One step closer, and then two.
Imagine I'm there, touching you,
My arms completely around you.
Can you feel me hugging you,
All my love surrounding you.
(((((((((((((((XXXXXX)))))))))))))
I want my Mum
I so want my mum right now to give me that big cuddle and tell me everything will be ok. (55yr old sobbing mess).
Its not a good blog Im afraid and wont be offended if you dont read it.
Its 3.30am and I cant sleep, cant stop crying either so god knows how the spelling is going. Never been hot on that anyway. Cant get spell check to work either grrrrrrrrr
I have read so many horrendous journeys on here and feel at times that I am intruding as I think in spite of Daves troubles we...
Evening All,
5 reasons why it has been one of those days..... had a lot worse of course, and it's all rather trivial in the great scheme of things....but just one of those days....
1. solicitor phoned- no news of moving date, still waiting for some bit of paper or other.. were meant to be moving Wed.. looks like next week now and still can't even book a removal firm or do anything at all as still dont know the date aarrgghh!
2. cat decided to join me in the 'I've got an unexplained lump...
Blood transfusion number 3 :/ Been feeling sleepy for last couple o weeks and have been taking naps throughout the day which have gradually been getting longer as the days go by. I honestly thought i had just been doing too much and was needing to rest.
Yesterday i began to worry and think something was wrong i spent the entire day in bed got up for a bite to eat and had to go straight back to bed i was tottally exhausted. So this morning when my district nurse arrived to provide my hickman line...
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