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ironic given my blog name... but someone sent this to me and I like it enough to share.... for all of us for whom positivity has gone feral.
Let's Get This Straight
It's not "being positive"
that gets you through. No,
it's something grittier - sharp, capable of hurt:
it would have you grabbing the very last crumb
from under your best friend's nose,
it's savage, stubborn, it's made of steel -
if you were in business the whole world
would hate your guts...
So I get a phone call on new years eve from my mum to say dad has got mouth cancer :( safe to say I am cut up to bits about it, I am in Devon he is in Scotland and I want to go back there to be by his side but he says there is nothing I can do!! I feel so guilty and helpless!!! I haven't been the perfect daughter and have often been nasty to him in the past and know all I feel is regret!! dad gets his results tomorrow on whether or not the cancer has spread...I hope to god not!!! going to be a very...
Dear All,
I am so sorry to tell you all that Hilary died this morning.
This is what Judy wrote...
I regret to have to announce that Hilary died in her sleep this morning around 7 am. She died in the knowledge that she was much loved and still thinking more about her friends and family than herself. She was the best friend a girl could have, and I can’t begin to tell you how much I will miss her.
I shall miss her so very much. I shall direct Judy to this blog if any of you want to leave...
Tomorrow I have a ct scan to check for recurrence.. I haven't been worried at all but today it just sort of hit me that there really is a good chance the cancer has come back. I just keep reminding myself that I have done everything possible to lower my chance of recurrence and hopefully that was enough!
On top of my fear of recurrence I'm worried about the ct scan itself. Last time I had one I felt so nauseas during the injection of dye and Im nervous it will happen again! Especially since...
The last few days I’ve been feeling increasingly chipper… my next R-CHOP is on the 9th and suddenly it felt like there was a chance to fit three weeks of living into a ten day span.
I’d been out and walked the dog for the first time in yonks and blown the Christmas cobwebs away at last and have been saying yes to all sorts of visitors squeezing themselves in to see me before the bad times hit again.
Yesterday I gave the dog a circuit of the graveyard (his usual minimum...
So with the new year I thought I might give blogging a go! Resolutions and all... I'll start at the beginning.
In September of 2011, I noticed a black dot in the middle of a mole on my nose. Not concerned at first, I ignored it but as the months passed the dot got bigger until it completely covered up the original mole (about the size of a pencil eraser). My mother suggested I make an appointment with my gp and in December I had it checked out. My gp looked at it and said it was definitely nothing...
Have read many posts on the Mac site which echo what I've been feeling about Christmas & New Year.
It has been a strange and difficult time of year. It is still hard to come to terms with the fact that this time last year my dearly loved man was only just beginning his chemo and then everything came to an end in June. How can that be? How is it possible to gain some kind of perspective on everything that happened last year? What do I do with those memories, the memories of sheer gut-wringing...
I understand food is difficult for many people undergoing chemotherapy… it takes away your appetite, it makes food taste weird…smell weirder.
It’s very much a case of a little bit of what you fancy does you good…. it’s just finding something to fancy.
The whole food thing is exacerbated for me as my diet is so a)restricted by my ulcerated colon andb)bound up in the neurosis of knowing if i choose wrongly i’ll end up lying in vomit followed by a trip to...
