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Wow...it's been AGES since I've blogged. I have been meaning too but every
time I have gone to blog I've made excuses not to...I don't know why. I just
feel like shutting everything away sometimes. Of course I'm now regretting it
because I worry that I will forget things about Dad that I have been meaning to
write about :(
Things have been really tough lately. I went through a couple of months of
being strong...I only realise now, now that I'm feeling weak as anything, that...
So my best friend got engaged. Jelous? Yep. Not the engagement bit, I'm just really jealous that somebody else has something great going on in their life and I don't. I feel like a bitch and rightly so.
I have gratefully accepted my role as Cheif Bridesmaid and despite what I've just said I am genuinely happy for her and her boyfriend and I hope they have a long, happy life together. So I will instead focus on the fact that somebody wants me to be their bridesmaid and share their special...
At the age of 15 i struggled to come to terms with accepting my mum had breast cancer, even though there was a cure for it. Now, I'm 19 and I'm beside myself wondering how I'm ever going to come to terms with the fact, my mums cancer is back, but this time also in her spine and pelvis with no cure available. Although my mum is currently undergoing treatment (radio and chemo therapy) to control it, the thought of what the future holds scares the hell out of me because i know it won't work...
I grew up surrounded by songs from the musicals. I didn’t want to be. I loved pop music, the sort they played on Radio Luxembourg. Songs that you listened to on that transistor radio tucked under your pillow at night. On Sundays the extended family would all get together. If the weather was fine then the younger generation would escape outdoors somewhere. Otherwise we were trapped inside with the adults. It wasn’t so bad when music was being played on the gramophone. Unfortunately these...
I saw the oncologist yesterday. Charming man, very tall and difficult to follow his speech as he talks very fast and wishes to communicate so much information that his words become convoluted.
The outcome was that I am on the correct treatment for my stage of the disease. My symptoms from the bicalutamide may improve so that I am less tender on the chest. If and when the metastases in my pelvic bones cease to be controlled there are other drugs that can be tried. The Stampede trial was mentioned...
I'm feeling selfish at the moment, its not fair that my mum has to go through all of this, its not fair that my mum has to wake up feeling like crap each day, not being able to do the normal stuff she does. Its not fair that she has me and dad pleading with her to stay awake for 2 minutes so she can eat a little and drink a little and pressurising her to do little exercises to keep her moving as much as possible.
I have to think about going back to Canada, I have been home almost 3 months now...
12 days into the treatment....mum is still sleeping a lot, but we have got into a better routine now, trying to keep her awake in the afternoons, her appetite seems to be picking up and it seems to help when she hears other people tell her that its a good way to kill the cancer by eating and drinking. She has even found a new love for raw broccoli (with a nice tasty ranch dip!) and I'm not stopping her!
Mum is immobile at the moment, some days are better than others, but the loss of energy and strength...
I’ve been lazy today. I was given the inspiration for the subject. I’ve also been given help in defining what a heartthrob is, and more importantly I have had very willing assistance in selecting five artists to go into this category. I have added my favourite song by each singer. Thanks everyone, it’s been easy work and a great pleasure to do.
So to be a heartthrob you have to fulfill the following criteria. You have to be handsome and have a voice that makes the spine tingle...
Well I have done it, I have had the conversation I have been dreading for weeks. I sat down with my boys (8 and 4) on saturday afternoon, and explained to them that Granny is not well and has been in England for a while to have medicine, but now the medicine has stopped working and the doctors cant make her better any more, so probably fairly soon she will go to be with polly (the cat) in heaven, and that I will be very sad when this happens and that they should not be worried if they see me crying...
So Saturday night I got a phonecall from my dad. My dad ringing me never results in anything good.
This had happened:
5mph more and he wouldn't have missed that tree. When the car rolled onto it's side it was about 3 foot away from it. You can see just from the tyre tracks alone how lucky he was. He thinks he had a blow out on one of his tyres and before he could say anything to his mate sat next to him, they were already heading for the hedge. They ducked and the car flipped onto it's side and...
