I was having this conversation on Saturday, with a stranger who pointed out that having cancer at 28 is pretty fucking unlucky.
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Diagnosed 12th July, Ivor Lewis surgery 3rd October discharged on 15th October, first 2 weeks it was a joy to be able to eat again, last 3 weeks swallowing difficulties. Final prognosis on Friday 25rh November, if node positive only 20-25% 5 years survival rate. So me and my good friend " hope " are looking for a better outcome. I'll be glad the waiting will be over in 5 days, I am being as positive as I can, I feel so sorry for my wife she has been through the mill and has been incredibly brave...
A Chum Kidnapped me to St Peter & St Pauls Church tonight in Mansfield for a Christian "Healing & Wholeness Service" ...been uplifted by it very, very deeply...Not Afraid Aaaaanymore! Whatever...
So 1 year ago I received the results confirming that I no longer had any signs of cancer, can't believe that a whole year has passed.
I'm back at work full time, but life is certainly not normal...
To begin with I struggled to plan ahead of my quarterly review sessions, and then in August I felt like I had maybe turned that corner, booked honeymoon for Jan and started to try and get fit(ish) again.
Well a few weeks later and I was having a blip, feeling tired and rundown...
I always wear nail polish on my toes, whatever the season so I may not have realised any change in appearance to the toe nails over the last few weeks. Recently, I have been experiencing pain in both my big toenails. It appears now that the toenail is lifting slightly from the nailbed. Although I did finish chemo quite a few weeks ago, apparently it is still in your system for a while and the effect on the nails at a later stage is not unusual.
I am not too sure whether the nail will actually come...
Lumpectomy not a success & Masectomy & Lymph Node Removal scheduled for Fri 25/11...Bad Enuf, but had a Bone Marrow Biopsy yesterday for Lymphoma condition. Cos I'm skinny, nothing for local anaesthetic to numb (& u can't numb bone...). When Doc went into skin, he said "bone is hanging out...." Passed out wiv pain & all hell broke loose...never, ever, had pain like it in my life...just hope they got enuf bone marrow to test, grade & stage.....
Friday 18th Nov
I was given a ray of hope today, and it was gratefully received. I went from terrified to hopeful in a few hours and I feel blessed.
Yesterday I convinced myself that this cancer had spread and that there would be no treatment for me. I'm not stupid, I know it happens, it can happen to anybody young and old, I'm not special. The lump was huge and painful and scaring the hell out of me. Today everything was explained in a way that made sense in my crazy out of control head...
This is the third time I've written this blog today...I keep losing it.
Yesterday was such a horrendous day that I didn't think it could be topped, but boy did Thursday beat Wednesday by a long chalk.
It started as an ordinary Thursday, bin day in our house, I was thinking how strange life is that Wednesday which was such a long awful scary day could be followed by such an ordinary Thursday, bin day, how is that possible?
Boy was I wrong.
After talking to my breast care nurse...
I'm a 28 year old woman who has cancer, and I keep telling everybody I’m lucky. “I’m really lucky because it was caught very early.” “I’m having less chemo than a lot of people have, so I’m lucky.” I say “I’m lucky” in almost every conversation I have about cancer, particularly if it’s the first time I’m talking to somebody about it.
I was having this conversation on Saturday, with a stranger who pointed out that having cancer at 28 is pretty fucking unlucky.
Ned is home! It took an extra day as the doctors wanted to adjust his pain medication, but he has been home since Tuesday and I feel like things are going okay. He now eats as normally as possible during the day, and has a pump feeding him for 8 hours overnight. We spent most of yesterday at the Christie Hospital in Manchester getting blood tests done, so I packed us both a lunch and snacks and that seemed to work really well. Today has been a touch easier because for the first time in about 2 weeks...
