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The big day is finaly here after weeks of planing!A tribute to you mum........i wish you was here to reasure me that what im doing is right.Through my life it has been you who has always been there to love cuddle and reasure me that the things i did were right but now your no longer with me i just have to live in hope that all the good and special things that were in your heart live on through me.you was such a special lady and i want to give you and all our family and friends a night to remember,reminissing...
It's that feeling you get in your chest, that tight, breath sucking feeling thats the worst. Or maybe it s the uncontrollable crying, crying with no sound - just pain. I lost my mum to Breast Cancer in a blink of an eye. I had just finished Uni and mum had just retired. Things were looking good. I think I was a bad daughter, I wasn't there for her enough when she needed me. My mum deserved so much better that me. She deserved so much better than all of us. My grandmother died last December...
My Grandma is 80, a life long smoker and has Lung cancer. She has been unwell for months, getting colds and unable to shake them off. She is an active lady. Now seeing her so small and frail.....
After being told she had a chest infection, she was taken into hospital last Saturday. On Sunday night a doctor told her she had shadows on her lungs. She was given a CT Scan Tuesday and the news was given yesterday. My Dad, Auntie (his sister) and my Mum went into see the doctor. She has Lung Cancer, spots...
I am just back from the Casualty Department...it's the same Hospital where you are still lying in the morgue - what a cruel and awful thought. I have a chest infection (I think) and lay in bed unable to sleep and with a growing inability to breathe. At 2.45am I gave up to the growing fear that I had pneumonia and was going to die and off I took myself. Nobody really there but still waited ages to be seen. Started to get pins and needles round my face, mouth, hands and feet. The Nurse took me to...
So now it's just over 48 hours since you left....I struggle to write 'died'....and I am living in a world I no longer recognise. I trail along for some time managing to cope - then I 'crash' without warning. I came across some photos of you today which I hadn't expected to see - crash. I watched a short video clip of us with Mom and my daughter on a day out about 3 years ago....such a happy, fun day - crash. A glimpse of you when you had just passed over flashed into my head...
02 March 2012
A story shared between a father and a daughter. A story for the past. For the present. And for the future. As a young girl he read The Magic Faraway Tree stories to me at bedtime. As a mother I hope to share these with my own children. But first I want to reshare them with my father.
After almost 20 years, on 04 January 2012 we entered the Enchanted Wood together. Hand in hand with Jo, Bessie and Fanny our adventure was about to begin. To start with I read many chapters every night;...
Having a sad day today and dont really know why.
Went to practice nurse yesterday and got my dressings changes, she dident bother putting one back on my boob as its looking so good, re-dressed the node one and told me to get myself some Arnica to help with the brusing as it is quite severe.
Still have this annoying 'thing' in my armpit which is uncomfortable rather then painful but think thats whats getting me down as its their all the time:((
Going to have a shower later which will hopefully...
so yesterday my beautiful terminally ill fiance left for an overseas trip with his sister for three weeks.. as he left i started to panic.. this is what my life will eventually be like.. lonely nights in bed watching tv thinking... feeling sad.. how can i ever live without him? he's everything to me the love of my life! the only thing thats keeping me sane right now is knowning that he will be back... im so scared right now im scared that i wont make it through the grief.. im only 25 and im scared...
One thing you do not get told and is not featured in any booklets you are given when you are diagnosed with cancer is that you will meet wonderful people who wont make it.
I don't think I will ever get used to that.
Sometimes you might only speak to these people via the internet, over the phone or if you are lucky enough face to face but no matter how the relationship is forged you have met a new friend.
Since my diagnosis in June 2010 I have lost 3 people who became friends very quickly and...
I had a very emotional but comforting easter weekend with my man, was very sad when he returned home Monday. Walked around the airport eyes full of tears as I know till surgery its just me and the hamster. A bit of space is always good but at the moment for me I would sooner be with others as im a bit scared of whats happening. Im 42 and this is bad luck but am thinking past the bad bit so we can get on with our lives and celebrate our first year together in June.
Finaly took myself to the doctors...
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