Diary of a nobody

Chatting to a friend today who wrote a blog during part of her cancer treatment prompted me to come on and read my blog posts for the first time since I wrote them, this made me realise that I had not updated on here for over a year! It's terrible but I always found this blog a great outlet for when I was feeling low and needed to talk, it's a good sign that I have been absent for the last 12 months, I have been busy…

I am feeling much more positive and thought after my last blog update I should post another as a result. Was in quite a low place when I posted last time. I think hearing news of others losing their battle always affects you and with chemo zapping all my white blood cells, platelets, energy and optimism it left me feeling low, lonely and a bit fed up. Not like me at all so I am glad that after the chemo on the Wednesday…

Not been on here for a while but today felt like I needed a bit of an outlet. Since last coming on one of the ladies who used to blog on here who also had cervical cancer has passed away in July. You may know her she blogged under 'Miss Nutter' her maiden name. Kathy also became a 'virtual' friend and we text each other and kept up to date. The news although not completely unexpected came as a bit of shock and is so…

Starting to feel a bit apprehensive now and the realisation that I am having chemo tomorrow because the cancer is back is beginning to kick in.

Not sure if I can go on the trial yet due to protein in my urine. Always runs with protein in due to urostomy but trial criteria is strict and won't find out until tomorrow if they will allow it. One of the side effects of the trial drug can be protein in your urine. The lovely…

I found out on Tuesday that the cancer has returned. I am gutted.

Had MRI and CT routine although did have lower back ache and dull pains in pelvis. Colerectal surgeon said could be nerve endings due to the pelvic exenteration and if continued would scan me. Then suggested I have routine scan as everyone has been focusing on my bowels due the reversal.

Had MRI April and found out suspicious lymph but could possibly…