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Fed up and feel sick. My surgery has been postponed from 4th Dec to 16th December. Was so ready mentally and now I have to wait another 2 weeks. I need an ICU bed on standby and they are full at the Brompton this week - the 'panel' had a meeting and decided I wasn't high up enough on the priority list and so I have to wait.
The irrational part of my brain is terrified it will grow or spread in the next 2 weeks. I know I'm being a stupid cow -bear with me, I'll get over it!
So having got my head round the fact that my hair is gradually thinning beyond recognition, I decided to pre-empt patchy head syndrome and start hunting out 'new hair' in the way of wigs.
Took a trip to Selfridges as they have a little concession there used by Hot Hair, first on my own, the next time with a friend. You'd think that they would train the staff to understand that it won't just be girls looking for 'party hair' that will use their services....well the girl that served me was...
But the subject of this irregular blog is a quote originally from his play The Tempest.
"Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows"
This has, over the intervening centuries, been borrowed by many writers, not least of whom was Charles Dickens who gave us the more well known version of adversity rather than misery.
By now you will be wondering where I am heading with all this, hopefully you'll stick around to find out, because in amongst the ramblings I hope I am putting my point...
Well it has been a busy few days, managed to get through my bone scan last week without total meltdown and tried to put off the thought of the impending ct scan all weekend. Like everywhere else it seems the weather was lousy and was a definite reason for staying cosy indoors which had the advantage of making sure that all of the washing and ironing got done.
Felt a bit off colour yesterday (not too suprising seeing as the whole family have been feeling rough for a few days) so I got off quite lightly...
Dont know where to begin . iItis now three years since I was diagnosed with Ocular Melanoma(from now on known as OM). Which on original diagnosis was small enough to be treated successfully and I would be able to go back to work within a month. However no one took account of the fact that this tumour was going to do what it wanted and would not be dictated to. The following procedure of putting a radio active disc on the tumour with the idea that it would shrink over a period of time did not work...
so i'm just writing this blog to introduce myself and why i am here.
Basically my girlfriend found out about 3 months ago that her mum's cancer has come back and she now has secondary breast cancer and after many appointments and tests they can only estimate that she has 'years' left.
This has literally broken my girlfriends heart and in turn is breaking mine. Her dad died when she was 5 and because she was adopted she has such a painfully close relationship with her mum, she...
Some of you lovely people left some kind words and sound advice on my blog yesterday. And after talking to my boss I have a good talk to myself. This morning I am back in work still on admin however but am going to the staff room at break to have coffee with the other staff and maybe at lunch time. If I get through that maybe by the end of the week I will be teaching some classes again but small steps at a time. I think maybe I was looking at things all wrong I wanted things to back to normal, but reality...
An update on my nephew. Scan results were yesterday and I went along with my sister to give her support. Nephew had been getting a bit breathless recently and sis was understandably more worried this time. The good news is though that all the scans were clear - chest/mri and heart so we were delighted. Next lot in 3 months but, for now, things are good. Feeling tearful today though the sheer relief that was yesterday but no doubt, two months down the line it will all start to build up again. I don...
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