And my smiles came quicker than I thought they would. The wonderful, encouraging messages from you guys, after my surgery being put back to the 16th December, have lifted my spirits - thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I said it was for a reason (I didn't know what reason, though) but I'd like to think that a possible reason was this: today I saved a life. The life of a little, scared bird. Picture the scene…
Fed up and feel sick. My surgery has been postponed from 4th Dec to 16th December. Was so ready mentally and now I have to wait another 2 weeks. I need an ICU bed on standby and they are full at the Brompton this week - the 'panel' had a meeting and decided I wasn't high up enough on the priority list and so I have to wait.
The irrational part of my brain is terrified it will grow or spread in the next 2 weeks…
Tuesday was a good day, bringing the very best of news: the cancer hasn't spread. It is adenocarcinoma, non small cell lung cancer in its early stages. I met with my specialist cancer nurse, Michael (who is amazing), and the surgeon, Mr Jordan, who is also amazing. After reviewing my PET scan, the surgeon was keen to offer surgery and stressed that this was good, as not everyone is suitable. He told me how it would…
How to start? I think, deep down, you know, don't you? My recent feelings of living on automatic pilot – that of seeing the world from a distance, hovering on the sidelines and watching as everyone else just gets on with it; living but not quite fully. My worst fears have been confirmed – I do have lung cancer. I don't want this blog to become morose and just a diary of cancer – it is going to be my partner on this journey…
