Well it has been a busy few days, managed to get through my bone scan last week without total meltdown and tried to put off the thought of the impending ct scan all weekend. Like everywhere else it seems the weather was lousy and was a definite reason for staying cosy indoors which had the advantage of making sure that all of the washing and ironing got done.
Felt a bit off colour yesterday (not too suprising seeing as the whole family have been feeling rough for a few days) so I got off quite lightly only feeling a bit off colour. Woke this morning desperate for a coffee, typical as the scan states no eating or drinking at least 4 hours before. I am not the best person to be around before I have had my caffiene fix so managed to growl through the school run and even keep my temper when some waster tried to cut me up. Got to the hospital 30 mins early they are in the process of building a new car park and parking is a nightmare (just to add to my good mood) and spent the next 15 mins trying to find a parking space, eventually managing to wang it in to a small spot (I was losing the will to live by now).
Ticket displayed and off to radiology, then informed to strip down to underwear and put on gowns and walk across the corridor into another department. This is where I started to feel nervous as I had decided to do this on my own and stop being a big wuss. Name called and into the room I go and there on a table is all the stuff needed to stick me with needles. It was then explained that they were going to give me a dye.........news to me I thought it was just a straight forward lie on bed have photo taken then off for a long awaited coffee. I think they could tell that I was nervous by this point as they kept gently rubbing my arm and telling me it will all be ok, so dye in and what a strange feeling, weird taste in the mouth and then a hot flushy sensation that makes you feel that you have just wet yourself (all perfectly normal they say afterwards) then a few instructions to breath deep and hold then it was all over.
Now I am impressed with myself for the following reasons (1) its my first cancer related trip unescorted and (2) I had already decided that I was not going to look at the people in the room incase I saw them looking thus throwing me into further turmoil of "what can they see" and this I managed to do even though the way the table was positioned I had a clear view right into the room and could have observed their every move. I am sick of worrying abiut this all now and have come to the realisation that the results from these two scans will be the same wether I worry or not so for my own sanity I will try not to even think about any of this until Monday when I have the long awaitied meet with the Oncologist so for now I am going to kick back and finish wrapping those last few pressies and might even contemplate getting the tree down this weekend to keep myself busy.
Hope everyone is ok and keep strong
take care love Terri xxx
ps. that first coffee of the day was divine
