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Good morning
Well this is the start of another day of waiting for my appointment I have spent some time this morning reading and replying to some posts and Blogs,at least it passes the time and gives me a vent for my emotions I really dont know what i would do with out this outlet as my moods are becoming deeper and darker, i keep trying to think of ways out but i see no way at all, unless they hurry up and bring forward my appointment so I can get some more news and a treatment plan ,...
Well here i am again a new post to add too all the others, that i have written this is the only way that i find a release from all my dark moods and thoughts , which i must say i never thought that it was possible for me too drop so low and it is like looking out of a deep dark pit when i am there my mind does not know what to do, all i think that i really need is for my better half to believe in the way that i am feeling so that she can understand how i feel it is like being alone whilst in a room...
What is next indeed. Eyes stinging, nose bleeding and we are told it will get worse and then the oncologist breaks into his fixed smile.!!!!!
I bought the eye drops the oncologist suggested but of course they make no difference. I don't think he knows as it is so rare a place to rt. I wonder if he has ever done it before.
Back and forwards to the Drs and chemist and back again to get prescriptions filled and even now I have to take one item back again and the eye drops are useless. The chemist...
December is turning out to be a very difficult month, no tree up, no shopping done and today is the 11th! Oh I know I have time but I don't have the inclination, that's the problem.
I actually forget on a daily basis that it is nearly Christmas, most days I wake up and struggle to remember what day it is! This is something that no one tells you.. your memory goes when you are grieving, some say it returns yet others report it doesn't...only time will tell.
I am going through the 'firsts...
being new to this type of thing not sure what i should be writing here?
