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So I'm writing this a few months after the events I'm going to note down. I don't want to have an actual tangible record of this horrid time of our lives, but I feel it's important to keep a note somewhere - here on this site seemed like a good option.
Dad had some trouble with his liver last year (April 2015). He lost his Dad, and he took it very very hard. Less than a week later he'd ended up in hospital and it took him several weeks to get out. When he came home he was a shadow...
Wednesday 16th November 2016
I am thinking this might be a short blog, do I really need to put 2016 on the date, does the year matter?
I didn't think I could feel much worse that I did on Monday, I didn't think I could be scared anymore but today I felt worse and I was scared again.
I feel like my horizons are closing in a little every day, I feel that despair when something happens that doesn't feel right. Today the bone scan was the culprit, after a very long drive we stopped...
Hello dear readers,
Okay...so where were we?
Ahhh yes.....worrying about the Bastard's return.
My symptoms had worsened over the past few weeks and the blood in the urine episodes more frequent along with the pain. Due to this I had my MRI a little earlier.
Last Saturday the pain became unbearable and I unfortunately ended up in A&E. They transferred me to my usual cancer hospital for more observation and for them to try to get the pain under control.
I was also due to have a catch up with...
It has been about 3 months since I first found out my mum had cancer, it was very difficult to take in and I didnt really know an awful lot about it. Suddenly all these cancer adverts meant something to me. She was diagnosed with ovarin cancer to begin with but now we have the final results which have told us that it is stage 4 bowel cancer which has spread to the ovaries and possibly the liver. She is waiting for her treatment to start but it is incurable, all they can do now is make her last moments...
I am approaching my 6th and final chemo treatment. I am dealing with Taxotere side effects including acute fluid retention of 23 lbs last I checked. I have the burning pain and swelling and peeling of my skin in my feet primarily, but also has been in my hands as well. My emotions are all over the place. I've had much more days as of recent with crying...a lot of crying. I've not really had other people that are going through the same things to talk to or blog with...so when I came upon this site...
So today is Tuesday 15 November, CT scan day.
I got 5 hours sleep last night, aided by 2 mild sleeping tablets, but I don't care about that, it was like having a 5 hour pass out of this living hell I've found myself in.
I found myself catching up with the washing and sorting out things from our weekend away, I set the cooker timer to remind myself to mix up the liquid to a litre of water at 12 o'clock. Oh my goodness its a long drive to the hospital, I hope I don't need the loo on the...
It's Monday 14 November, 6pm
Today I am scared, very scared, we left Devon to come back to Wales today, I hated saying goodbye to my daughter, I hated coming home, seems so quiet and empty here. It was the most awful journey of my life, this lump is huge now and very uncomfortable, and its another week until surgery, I don't know if I can handle this anymore. I phoned the breast care nurse on the way home, she was lovely, but said there's nothing can be done before before surgery now, she...
Saturday 5th, I woke up at 4am, the first two seconds were bliss, then the awful realisation that something awful was going on, my stomach flipped over as I remembered it was me and that this was bad...really bad.
Nobody to talk to at that hour. So the only thing to do was to google, I googled and googled but couldn't find the answer I wanted and needed.
My daughter and partner, were staying so I didn't want to make get up and make a noise, so I just laid there thinking the worst. It...
Friends and family... they are wonderful. They have really kept us sane these last few days and I wanted to share that. We have had visits and messages. As well as the constant natter of all our friends on WhatsApp, a friend who lives far away sent Ned a hat for when his hair starts to thin. Neds work friends sent him a parcel containing a little model to build and paint (a hobby of his). My brother bought him the latest issue of Viz, but he had to put that down because it was making him laugh and...
4th November 2016.
Ive always imagined that when we are born we get put on a big huge long conveyor belt, (I have a good imagination) and God willing hopefully we get the chance to travel along to the end without too many wobbles along the way, I know sadly that people do fall off the conveyor belt far too soon and that is cruel, I just never imagined that my conveyor belt might actually stop for a while, make me get off, give me a huge devastating shock, and then decide wether to let me get back...
