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I lost my husband to mesothelioma in September 2016 , when 2017 came upon us, the hurt and pain came back just the same as when I said goodbye at his bedside. I feel like I have left him behind in 2016 - it hurts so much
Saturday 31st December 2016
Yesterday was a nice day, I felt much better when I got up, I think I realised that I hadn't been feeling great for the last week or so, I think it was bringing my mood down, I think I managed to stay positive in front of everyone though over Christmas.
We dog walked in the morning and in the afternoon I got myself a new wig, the original wig looks lovely but after wearing it for a while it pinches my head and it's hot and scratchy. Anyway I went back to...
Usually by this time of the year I’ve started to plan for the year ahead. Weekends away (music festivals, beer festivals, sporting weekends, city breaks with friends) plus holidays. I’ve usually got a planting plan sorted for my allotment. I‘ll usually have a list of ‘jobs’ to be done in the house and garden.
But not for 2017.
The only event planned so far for next year is my eldest son’s wedding in May. The rest of the calendar is blank.
Life has been put on hold...
I've been busy, I'll tell you all about it whilst I scoff yet more Christmas food.....
Since we last spoke Christmas has landed and I have been to big old London Town.
I believe I have told you how much I love Christmas in the past, this year has been better than last year. Apart from anything I haven't had radiotherapy and therefore the horrendous burns to cope with. Plus this time last year we were between two houses.
So. The first Christmas in our new house and deciding where to put...
Just got the news from surgeon that the BCC on my upper lip is skin cancer, I was quite shocked as everything I have read led me to think it was nothing to worry about. Instead of asking him questions I just sat there and stared at him! Anyway I have come away with a few questions unanswered! The thing I feel more worried about is when he said was the surgery will make my lip look shorter. How much shorter I'm thinking. I've tried squeezing my lip together to see what it might look like but that...
Since finding out that my mum had cancer which had spread to her brain, she still hadn't lost her fighting spirit. Still pretty determined to be with us & fight, she found out about a new (here anyway) treatment, which had previously been used on melanoma patients with high levels of success.
We asked the oncologist who put her forward for it. We were delighted, I read up on the treatment, at how successful it had been & was excited for my mum to have it! Of course it would have side...
After our first oncologist who suggested no treatment, we found another who was the opposite to the first. She wanted to start my mum immediately on a bone strengthening treatment & also start on chemotherapy. She had a much more positive attitude towards us which helped us so much.
My mums first chemo was an event to be witnessed, "I want you to take a picture of me every time I come for treatment!". We went to the ward for her treatment, it took about 2 hours, we chatted about everything...
My mum was diagnosed in Sept last year as having breast cancer, early stages. She had a lumpectomy & that was that, breast cancer beat. (Take that ya bum!)
We breathed a sigh of relief. The cancer gods laughed! We're not finished with you yet said they! She had had an annoying cough for ages, totally unrelated, asthama had been the diagnosis. But it had gotten worse recently, off they sent her for a chest xray. And of course it came back abnormal, she was then sent for a whole host of...
This is a MINEFIELD for me in a state of full health let alone with cancer but I feel it is something worth talking about. Even if it just allows people to point out my flawed logic!!
As a single 38 year old, I really don’t embrace the prospect of fighting this disease on my own. I’ve always prided myself on being independent, not needing anyone - and thank goodness I am really, given my disappointing relationship history!
My first relationship lasted about 12 years - I thought it was...
