Medussa made herself known to me on Christmas Eve. Yes Medussa was the breast cancer lump which may have been growing within me for years.!How did she manage to do that without me knowing? My last mammogram was in Ireland in 2014.Moving to Wiltshire in 2016 I missed two mammograms as the Consultant says,patient "did not attend as life was too busy".I am still disappointed with myself for not putting myself first.Thats what we do us Women-Right?
So there I am at last sitting down on Christmas Eve on my own(lone Parent). Content that cleaning done ,check;presents wrapped ,check;Ham boiled check;Turkey ready for oven check;presents under tree check;Santa on his way check;a glass on wine now check;straiten my Pjs now as I relax and As I do so ... what's that!
Yes Medussa there you were a lump in my breast like a round golf ball.Your timing is just great! But then breat cancer is like that it likes to sneak up and surprise us
Doesn't it!
So off I went to the hospital on Boxing Day for someone, anyone to tell me it's nothing to worry about, it's just a muscle or lie down there we will cut it out immediately!No go back to GP and take it from there.
So the long wait for Christmas tidings, New Year tidings to be said and done ,and get over .
There I was the first week of January and my Go Tidings were "I will make a referral I suspect breast cancer"
Medussa my dear lump you have really gone and done it now! I was hoping to start my dream job in a few months.
Work, job, things to
Do and people to see.Theres a sudden halt with breast cancer .Its the shock and denial that you feel at diagnosis. You know it's there but you can't believe.
I knew when I waited in the waiting room for the
Biopsy that Medussa was going to be a frightening a challenging Bitch ! Tears ran down my face and I felt frightened.
I was comforted my the Consultant
And the Team as I was told about early stage invasive breast cancer,the impending lumpectomy (that's cutting you out Medussa!) and sentinel lymph node removal.
So in I went like a bull at the gate let's get this done.For such a serious
Moment the day surgery was fully
Of humour and laughing with the other patient, the stocking were green, I had to be put back on the list as I ate a croissant and tea after the kids went off to school at 8.30. I sang a rugby song with the anthesist (also Welsh) before I was knocked out!
Then I woke up out of it and eventually checked to see where you gone? I felt so happy ,Medussa you were gone.
But it doesn't work like that with Breast Cancer does it .Breast cancer is a long road but one I hope not to face on my own.
I return for results which will most likely involve chemotherapy, hormone treatment and radiotherapy.Also being still for a while,living in the here and now, not overthinking and loving every minute with my kids.
As my son said one day "I will always be
Me forever" breast cancer and living with it is part of me now .So whilst your gone Medussa my lump my journey has only just begun.Im ready let's do this ! X
