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our first anniversary since jims death, it would have been 36 years, spending the day with my son.............................
Feeling really low tonight, my poor wee mum has just been diagnosed with lung cancer. This disease is awful, have lost my dad to renal ca, then me with ovarian ca, now my mum , is there a god?
Love caroline xx
The last week and a half have seen pain levels increase to such an extent that Julie is on 3x her normal dose of pain meds. Our Oncologist has been on holliday - back tomorrow - and we are desparate for a consult. Any sort of physical movement sees pain levels rise to such an extent that it causes nausea and vomiting.
The Onc's receptionist will speak to her 1st thing tomorrow to see how soon we can get in and give us a call back.
My mum passed away this morning and it is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with yet I couldn't cry and stil can't. I cried all the time when she was ill and the night before she died but when it happened i went numb. It was horrible seeing my mum unable to do anything by herself and not even communicating with anyone and as horrible as this situation is, i'm glad she doesnt have to suffer anymore.
I feel like I'm floating and everything is in a bit of a daze. I don't know how...
With christmas looming I was aware that there was a lot of people in my local area who were looking to try and make a few extra pennies to make paying for Christmas more bearable. I love Facebook, I use it ALOT, and there was a local page where people where buying and selling things to help make ends meet. I'd bought and sold a few things and built up a rapport with a few users on the site. With that in mind the cogs started whirring and as a result a little acorn of an idea...
Following my arrival home I was very lucky to have my partner and family around to help me to recover. I have never been too good at asking people for help, always preferring to try to muddle through as independent as possible. Even I couldn't argue that I needed help after the operation, mainly in looking after my son. Being a full time mum has had its perks around all of the operations etc I have needed. God knows what it would have been like trying to get time off work etc...
I remember sleeping pretty well that night, propped up on the electric bed surrounded by many pillows, I woke up every now and then to drink some water which was slightly awkward. I had a scar across the nape of my neck about 8cms long which was glued so had a shiny appearance. Moving around was interesting, I think it was mainly a psychological thing but it felt like I needed to keep my head and neck as still as possible so as not to burst my scar. I don't remember being in...
Having
had my first appointment cancelled I didnt hold out much hope that my
operation date would come around again soon. I expected to wait at
least a month, and so was very pleasantly surprised when I was booked
in for my operation the following weekend. I was to be at the hospital
at 7am on a saturday!
Unfortunately 7am appointments mean no food or drink past midnight the
night before, so I stayed up late and had a midnight feast :) As I said
previously I wasnt afraid of...
