Following
my arrival home I was very lucky to have my partner and family around
to help me to recover. I have never been too good at asking people for
help, always preferring to try to muddle through as independent as
possible. Even I couldn't argue that I needed help after the operation,
mainly in looking after my son. Being a full time mum has had its perks
around all of the operations etc I have needed. God knows what it
would have been like trying to get time off work etc, but as my three
yr old doesn't have an HR dept and there's no such thing as having time
off being a mummy I relied heavily on those around me to take on my
daily tasks and help in taking care of little man. Luckily they were
great and took time of work where needed so that I could get some much
needed rest and recuperation. Little man was well versed on what he
could and couldnt do around mummy, big sweeping neck hugs being out of
the question!
Unfortunately the length of time needed was longer than expected as my
hoarse voice was particularly persistent, and my scar got a little
infected so I ended up on antibiotics.
I can tell you for nothing that a voice barely louder than a whisper
with no range is no fun around a 3 year old. As Ive said before little
man is a proper boy, he loves to run at high speed and get into mischief
wherever he can, not being able to raise my voice to get him out of
sticky situations was definitely a challenge. The only loud noise I
could muster was a whistle, so I ended up having to whistle at him
whenever I needed him to pay attention. I found speaking tiring, trying
to be heard above any crowd noise was a nightmare and it was very
frustrating. The period between being well enough to leave the house and
my voice coming back was not much fun, being out in public with my
gorgeous boy was stressful as I was frightened that something sticky
would happen and my voice would let me down. Speaking to strangers in
shops etc meant I had to explain my op by pointing at my scar so that I
could explain my tiny voice. My hoarse voice lasted at least 6 weeks...
I thought it would never be back to normal. My voice was also affected
in terms of vocal range in my singing voice - dont get me wrong im not
a singer :) But as most people do I love to sing along to music - I
was unable to do so without sounding like those tragically bad people
in the rejects section of the xfactor :) This was where my love affair
with Michael Buble started :) or Bubble as I affectionately came to
know him as I found I could sing along to Bubble bcos his voice was low
enough for me to sing without a massive amount of strain on my
voice... he became my music of choice. Bubble at bathtime, Bubble when
cleaning the house. Gotta love some Bubble :)
It was during this period that a letter arrived from the hospital
inviting me to a post op appointment. Great I thought they can have a
good nosey and make sure my scar is healing up nice and Il get some
feedback on my voice. I wasnt ever told to expect results of any kind
afterall id now been told twice that it wasnt cancer. The fine needle
aspiration had confirmed that hadnt it :)
