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6th March
It's been a couple of days of mixed emotions. I always thought that I was an optimist however I've thought about making a will which is something that we always keep meaning to do and every twinge down below makes me think that this hidden horror is erupting after laying unnoticed for I don't know how long. Even now it is spreading its mutated cells throughout my body to infect other innocent organs- well these are the things that I'm thinking about along with the positives...
2nd March
I've just been for a colonoscopy at Thornbury Hospital in Sheffield. All gowned up and baring my virgin arse to another man called Dr Stephen Brown. I've always called myself an Hairy Arsed Climber even though my buttocks are silky smooth however viewing the monitor as the scope got nearer to the entrance it was true I did have a hairy arse.Once inside the Dr guided the scope up through the lower parts, inflating my colon as he went. The compressor sounding much like the tyre inflater...
After a few weeks Mum passed away this morning . it was peaceful ,she just slipped away.I wasnt ready to let her go ..but she was tired.
love you mum xxxx
When I have read about having good and bad days, I didn't realise how extreme they could be from one day to the next. Yesterday was a lovely day. Today has been awful!!
Last night , dad texted to say that he had gone from being on clear fluids to free fluids and had tried a cup of tea.That came back up again which is not a good thing as he is meant to be able to start eating a light diet today so that he can get well enough for chemo.
Hence, a night of no sleep for me and my family because of worrying...
Dad and Aunt have sorted out Grandma's funeral but it will take 2 weeks! Can't believe it will take that long but it's down to paperwork. I know now Grandma is in the funeral home. I can't go and see her, her soul is gone forever. I did write a rambling letter to her when I couldnt sleep on Monday night, maybe if I rewrite it I can ask for it to be put into her coffin. I should read it but my hand writing isnt too good.
I woke up this morning and felt fine, I was looking at photos...
Firsty, i have to ask you to bear with me as I have never written a blog before.I am a little nervous as i have a tendancy to waffle , but I feel like i need to write a diary of my experiences because i want to remember feelings that i have over time. I promise that the posts will become shorter after my initial explanation! The title will become clear at the end of my post.
Briefly, I am a wife and mum to 2 children aged 12 and 7. My immediate family have always been very close. My mum has had multiple...
We did manage to sleep last night. My poor Dad has got a chest infection and was being sick alot last night, my Mum was worried. She thinks it's part of the shock of losing his Mum. He has been in bed all day, his whole body is hurting. I am still crying now and again, my brother Simon came from London and he didnt want to talk. In the end we talked and had a cry together. He can't believe she went so fast.
My Aunt and Dad went through my Grandma's papers and found some cash she left for...
Hard day at the hospital yesterdat, had a group talk about chemo then a 1 to 1 with the nurse.
My chemo starts on the 21st with me having a line fitted on the 14th and a heart scan on the 16th so all go.
Couldent sleep last night, too many things on my mind it was so much to take in, and my imagination doing overtime lots of aches and pains:(( and then have a head ache today as im tired.
Up at silly oclock tomarrow to go to a dog show and the same on Saturday for a working test, get them in before...
