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I woke up tired today, dont know if its just because im tired or something more sinnestor, that the problem with this stupid illnes, it makes your mind play games.
I couldent sleep the night I was told my lump was cancer, I layed bed and all my joints were aching and I was busy convincing myself I had bone cancer, in reilaty it was more to do with the fact that we had walked the dogs for 2 hours while we were trying to get our heads round things.
Busy day at work, I cant seem to get it through...
Did the 40 mile round trip to have my pre op's on a beautiful spring day.
.3 hours at the hospital of tests and a cheast x-ray and a good meeting with my bcn to discuss the operation. Got another whole load of stuff to read and been through exactly what im having done Lumpectomy'wide excision and Sentinel node biopsy, apparently they have a swish new machine which will look at my nodes.
Been through how to deal with the drain if I have one.
It only occured to me when I was sat in x-ray...
Hi everyone. Sorry it has taken so long for me to get back to you all. But I know you will understand.
So here we go on the final days of my beautiful brother's life but I am going to have to do this in stages as there is so much to write and I am still too raw to do it all in one go.
There was an awful lot of upset connected to the organising of his fundraising evening caused by too many cooks spoiling the broth and a few people fighting for one-up-manship. You know the sort - "hey look...
I am told that if you register with a Hospice when you start chemo you will be on their register and will be guaranteed a place should you need to go into the Hospice in the future. Has anyone else done this or heard of doing this.
I was 50 on the 5th March 2012, myself my husband and our two dogs were going away for a week in Scotland. The week before we went I found a lump in my left breast in the shower. I got my husband to feel it and he said he dident know if it was a lump as my breasts are lumpy bumpy anyway, Felt it again when we were away and though it was bigger(marble size) so as soon as we got home I was at the doctors on the Monday.
He said yes there was a lump and I would get an appointment within 2 weeks, I got...
I killed you in my mind today
I cut you up, I watched you bleed
I killed you in my heart today
For everything you did to me
I murdered you a hundred times
I shot you dead and never cried
I killed you in my mind today
I laughed and watched you die
Screaming at me all on fire
Liar, liar, liar
I buried you with my desire
Liar, liar, liar
I buried you so far below
Liar, liar, liar
I had to see you go
Oh, jesus, please forgive me
Oh, jesus, please forgive me
On my knees beside my bed
Liar, liar, liar
Not sorry for the things...
Mum's cancer was so quick, relatively..... A woman who ran about after everyone, kids, grandkids, carer to her husband, my Dad. Christmas Eve, Mum fell into my front door - I had to catch her, Boxing Day, she needed help to steady herself in my house, we had family dinner... 30th December Mum's right leg started dragging - right arm struggling to lift anything... New Years Day, heartache, Mum couldn't use right arm/hand. 5th Jan - told it had spread to brain. Steroids initailly didn't...
