Mum's cancer was so quick, relatively..... A woman who ran about after everyone, kids, grandkids, carer to her husband, my Dad. Christmas Eve, Mum fell into my front door - I had to catch her, Boxing Day, she needed help to steady herself in my house, we had family dinner... 30th December Mum's right leg started dragging - right arm struggling to lift anything... New Years Day, heartache, Mum couldn't use right arm/hand. 5th Jan - told it had spread to brain. Steroids initailly didn't help, but after nearly 2 weeks, they did, Mum could walk about good. Steroids cut as Whole Brain Radiotherapy due to start - 5 days of - but steroids had to be put back up as Mums right side deteriorated again. Mum got the 5 days of Radiotherapy to Brain, to help symptoms of brain mets. Mum did well, went to all 5 sessions, despite docs/nurses saying "if you can't do all 5, don't worry, you don't have to do them all, you will be so tired". Mum finished Radio on the Monday. Stomach discomfort started that week, the GP informed us steroids "strip the lining of the stomach away, like paint stripper, then, that can leave a hole in the stomach".....We never knew this - Mum had been on Dexamethasone since 3rd Jan -7 weeks.... no one said they could perforate the stomach, which is what they seem to have done. Mum went into hospital with sever stomach pain - the GP had been in for 2 days previous, but Mum never complained enough really...Mum went into hospital on the Friday, she agreed to, with the GP, to get her stomach seen to, but, that didn't happen. They said they wanted to treat her pain and although we wanted Mum home, they said they didn't know if Mum would make the journey home, that they could start pain relief in hospital and we could have open visiting. They said they wouldn't X-ray Mum, as it would be too uncomfortable for her and even if they did, they wouldn't be doing anything for her....she was too unwell. I said as long as we can stay with her day and night... Sister and I told Dad and other sister. Mum was nursed by us and the nurses until the early hours of Tuesday morning. We told her she was just in hospital to get her stomach fixed, as that's what she had agreed to go in for. Mum smiled in her sleepy way and briefly spoke from the Friday till Sun morning.. then no more response, just us tallking and laughing with her and doing her mouth care and massaging her handcream in and foot lotion and making sure we used gauze swabs to keep her lips moist......(the Fri / Sat we gave Mum fruit juice through the pink sponge "lollipops" - which she totally sooked in!). We made sure we spoke of normal, happy, everyday stuff and Mum smiled at all our gossip..... we just wanted to protect her from the truth.... We'll never know if she really knew at the end - maybe she did?? but we certainly protected her from what we were told, as she was constantly told bad news at every appointment - she'd been through enough, the nurses and medics were keen to show their "experience" and offer to "tell" Mum how long she had.... No one ever can tell a patient that - as each person is different,,,,however, as you will all know, the medical profession are all too keen to apply their "knowledge" to us..... I too am a nurse of 20 years, but I would never claim to know someones "life expectancy" - everyone is different, no one knows these things....The point of this "story" is that it's a struggle to get through each day, I don't really feel like Mum is gone. We all were so close, for various reasons.....We are all struggling (my 2 sisters and I). I am devastated, as are my two sisters........It is a lonely time...
