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Many people love to plan ahead and make those three, five, ten year plans, they know where they want to be and by when but cancer can put a HUGE stop to that.
I count myself lucky, when my now husband was first diagnosed I was 20 years old, I'd only just really discovered how to work my washing machine and was enjoying the first bit of freedom from the family home so I hadn't got round to making huge future plans that I suddenly had to rethink.
Of course we had dreams and hopes but we never...
Im going use this blog as a major whinge in what i so far been stripped of by cancer.over the last two and half years.
.in the summer of 2012 life was ticking along, not brilliant could do better but getting there.and anywY it was the summer of the olympics and not only did i have tickets, but managed to get my mum tickets, so major brownie points to me
june 2012 diagnosed with some sort of cancer an 18 inch tumour in my abdomen and meta stastsis in chest and lung, oops!,,
two half years later...
I think it's 4 weeks tomorrow that I finished my 6 week course of RT for salivary gland cancer. This week it feels like things are picking up. Firstly I have started to eat real food. When I say real, I'm not sure it would be to everyone's tastes, but I'm moving beyond ensures, and pureed meals.
I have some fork mash able meals from Wiltshire farm foods that I've been eating. I've also had soup with bread rolls ( which is soak for a while in the soup). Yesterday I had a very cheap...
Well that wasn't fun, i for some reason though the lung surgery to remove a few nodules would leave me in the same amount of pain as last years surgery to remove my chest lymph nodes
well it got the same name, same scars, so why not the same pain,
wrong, it bloody hurt when i came round, and nearly two weeks late still hurts
I had a successful TUG reconstruction for BC and after serious consideration eventually opted for a second preventative TUG. The second operation was from my perspective a very disappointing and upsetting experience. Following the operation I had no feeling at all in my 'donor' leg below the knee, the muscles in the rear of my thigh were also paralysed. My foot hung down and I was unable to pull my toes up towards my shin so I had to wear a splint night and day to hold my foot in position...
I finally got my appointment at UCHL It was Friday just gone. I was called on the phone at 6.30 Thursday night. a total surprise. "It's a nice hospital". I saw Professor Kelly but my consultant did not turn up. but this Professor was totally human. I liked him Instantly. he answered all my question's without sounding like. well like a consultant. I will be going In sometime this week so that he can "take a look Inside" just to satisfy his own mind that nothing else can be done. then I will be admitted...
I do have a desk with a beautiful view! But cancer, do I really know what it is like? With my own diagnosis almost ten years behind, I am wondering if I am just a middle class army brat with an attitude? As this week I have spoken to a retired doctor whose wife died from liver secondaries and a grandmother of a 24 year old diagnosed with a brain tumor, there is a lot to listen to but not much I can say...
A toast to the people who I won't impress,
They love you, they tell me, I have...
The season is declining, a changing in the light,
The days are drawing colder and yet that is alright,
My time too, now in autumn, because I'm glad to say,
They did the operation upon a summers' day...
So many friends they tell me that growing old is sad,
But swapping a few wrinkles for life can't be that bad?
Okay July is over, bikinis not now wise,
That isn’t from the boob job, it's chocolate on my thighs!
I'm like the well shook rag doll with stuffing hanging...
Can something ever be nothing, once it's inside your head?
Can we turn back where we started, get a new thought there instead?
So intelligent and funny, I'm accustomed to your way,
You are fragile, I'm the mummy, and uncertain what to say?
I can upbeat, that's my job, but this time it is us,
This is real and I must talk to you without making a fuss!
So I can't it kiss better, make you a favourite meal,
A plaster just won't fix this, and Tinkerbell's not real......
