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I am just back from the Casualty Department...it's the same Hospital where you are still lying in the morgue - what a cruel and awful thought. I have a chest infection (I think) and lay in bed unable to sleep and with a growing inability to breathe. At 2.45am I gave up to the growing fear that I had pneumonia and was going to die and off I took myself. Nobody really there but still waited ages to be seen. Started to get pins and needles round my face, mouth, hands and feet. The Nurse took me to...
So now it's just over 48 hours since you left....I struggle to write 'died'....and I am living in a world I no longer recognise. I trail along for some time managing to cope - then I 'crash' without warning. I came across some photos of you today which I hadn't expected to see - crash. I watched a short video clip of us with Mom and my daughter on a day out about 3 years ago....such a happy, fun day - crash. A glimpse of you when you had just passed over flashed into my head...
02 March 2012
A story shared between a father and a daughter. A story for the past. For the present. And for the future. As a young girl he read The Magic Faraway Tree stories to me at bedtime. As a mother I hope to share these with my own children. But first I want to reshare them with my father.
After almost 20 years, on 04 January 2012 we entered the Enchanted Wood together. Hand in hand with Jo, Bessie and Fanny our adventure was about to begin. To start with I read many chapters every night;...
Having a sad day today and dont really know why.
Went to practice nurse yesterday and got my dressings changes, she dident bother putting one back on my boob as its looking so good, re-dressed the node one and told me to get myself some Arnica to help with the brusing as it is quite severe.
Still have this annoying 'thing' in my armpit which is uncomfortable rather then painful but think thats whats getting me down as its their all the time:((
Going to have a shower later which will hopefully...
so yesterday my beautiful terminally ill fiance left for an overseas trip with his sister for three weeks.. as he left i started to panic.. this is what my life will eventually be like.. lonely nights in bed watching tv thinking... feeling sad.. how can i ever live without him? he's everything to me the love of my life! the only thing thats keeping me sane right now is knowning that he will be back... im so scared right now im scared that i wont make it through the grief.. im only 25 and im scared...
One thing you do not get told and is not featured in any booklets you are given when you are diagnosed with cancer is that you will meet wonderful people who wont make it.
I don't think I will ever get used to that.
Sometimes you might only speak to these people via the internet, over the phone or if you are lucky enough face to face but no matter how the relationship is forged you have met a new friend.
Since my diagnosis in June 2010 I have lost 3 people who became friends very quickly and...
I had a very emotional but comforting easter weekend with my man, was very sad when he returned home Monday. Walked around the airport eyes full of tears as I know till surgery its just me and the hamster. A bit of space is always good but at the moment for me I would sooner be with others as im a bit scared of whats happening. Im 42 and this is bad luck but am thinking past the bad bit so we can get on with our lives and celebrate our first year together in June.
Finaly took myself to the doctors...
Hello all
It's been a while scince I've blogged. I returned to work last september having had a year off after my diagnosis with breast cancer. I have been trying so hard to return to 'normal' both for my own mental peace and my darling little girls. Things were going well, but fate decieded to hand me another blow, I had a heart attack on march 1st this year, caused by the radiotherapy I had. I thought that being told I had cancer was scary, but I really saw my life flash before me on that day...
All went well until christmas, then I knew something is wrong. Subsequent appointment revealed more abnornal cells or MrI booked for late April, followup in June. Here we go again........yikes :-( x
03 March 2012
We still haven't got round to naming his star. How ever will he manage to find his way to Rendezvous 2200 if we haven't given it the official name yet?!?!! Rendezvous 2200 officially named on 03/04/2012 - everyone told to watch out for shooting stars in the sky at night, daddy is en route. I thought nothing of it. A nice sentiment but shooting stars don't happen.
04 March 2012
Meteor Witnessed Across Britain
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-17249423
If ever I needed a sign...
