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Finishing
Finished work today
For a month
Or two
Or six
Or a year
Or forever
Return date unknown
Treatment starts Monday
Surgery - tick
Radiotherapy - tick
More Surgery - ? – Unknown
More radiotherapy - ? - Unknown
Chemotherapy - ? - Unknown
Hormone therapy - ? - Unknown
So many unknowns
I will be different
Can’t stop the change
Can’t know the unknowns
No point in the fear
Yet it remains
Sometimes a tiny, insignificant fleeting thought
Sometimes a sobbing nightmare
But never screaming...
The Look
It happened today.
I became someone else.
I got ‘the look’ for the first time.
The look that you get when people don’t know what to say, can’t quite catch your eye and try to treat you as normal.
The look that mixes empathy, sympathy, fear and an almost imperceptible sense of relief that it is you, not they who are in this place.
The look that takes just a little of the person you believe yourself to be and redefines you as the person with cancer.
Taking a tiny, insignificant...
Michael; loving husband, special dad, treasured step dad, crazy grandad and great grandad. Mick was a friend to many......
Wait, what?
For 19 years I've affectionately known my step dad as Mike. But if everyone else knows him as Mick, how did me and my brother come to know him as Mike? My mum wasn't even sure.
Sunday 18th September 2016 will be a date forever etched in my memory. We'd spent the day struggling over the crossword but he seemed tired so we all left the hospice early to let him get...
This is a hard path to walk alone, and I am grateful for all the friends and family who are there for me. I know it is not easy for them, but some just know what to say and do, often those who have been in need of support themselves at some time. Compassion isn't complicated. It's not trying to fix things, or to distract me from my cancer, but simply being there, listening, walking alongside for a while.
I have 3 siblings, none of whom live nearby, and all of whom offer support in different...
Well. I hardly come on this site now, I don't really know why, I just tried to keep busy busy busy and not have to face the awful reality. They say don't do anything major in the first year, well, I have sold the cars, sold the house and got two new cats and a new dog and been on two holidays. In the first seven months. I don'regret any ofthe above but they ultimately have not helped. since the six month mark,I have been getting progressively more weepy and sad. A few months ago I was starting to...
Hello all,
Today is not a good day. So I blog. I should be writing an essay but I feel the need to offload. So I blog.
Grab your tissues, it's likely to be hard going.
Yesterday I went to a cancer fundraiser, I had a nice time. I came home and things were not right. Mr H was angry and we rowed. I got equally annoyed and we didn't talk for the rest of the evening.
I am currently waiting for an MRI which has been put back to November. This is to confirm any spread. In the interim my pain levels...
I started my new regime (Folfox and cetaximab) last Friday. I thought I’d leave it a week to settle down and see how it goes.
Firstly though I do have to mention my PICC line. The fantastic staff at Northampton General went through everything they were doing to me and more importantly why they were doing it. I had had 5 sessions of Oxylaplatin through a cannula and each time I had quite severe pain both during the infusion and for up to 2 weeks after. The PICC line means no more cannulas and...
I had serious surgery and chemo and radiotherapy now I have trouble eating meat and Some veg and salad! Anything stringy or dry is hard
Gods evening all , I'm Donna and new to this site , 3 yrs ago I was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma , and been in remission , 10 days ago I had further surgery and have been given my results tonight after the MDT meeting , Theresa no cancer but I have been diagnosed with VIN iii , I Shevardnadze never come across anyone with this has anyone on here had it or dealing with it ? X
No, I've not had a late relapse and about pass on to the other side or planning on killing myself in response to the UK deciding to leave the EU - that would be an amazing way of generating more page views though - at least I'd still be able to get to Dignitas in Switzerland ok, I can't imagine the EU ever passing a bill allowing Euthanasia.
The truth is I just don't have the time to continue with the blog now that Wimbledon is about to start, the Euros have entered the interesting...
