So I was due for radiotherapy but it's been cancelled as my heart is too far to the left and will be damaged if I have radiotherapy. Met with my oncologist for my surprise appointment in whichever I was told that I would need to have ANC and try the deep breath radiotherapy but there was no guarantee that this wouldn't damage my heart either, so that's out of the question. The other option open to me is a mastectomy with ANC. So I have gone for this option but I didn't realise that there was so many more options after this.
So now I have to decide if I want just a straight mastectomy or one with an LD flap, which means that my boobs will go from like an F cup to a B/C. Big shock. This can be done at my local hospital, or I have a DIEP flap reconstruction which is a bigger operation and in a hospital 2 hours away and I'll be in the hospital for a week. Bonus to that is a free tummy tuck but a massive scar.
My head feels like it's about to explode with all the information running through it. Sometimes I wish that people would be totally honest with me rather than telling me what they think I want to hear. I've always said that I wanted my boobs reduced a they were too big, heavy and yucky, but then everyone knows me as the girl with big boobs coz I've always had them. They are me. Or are they?
Why is it so hard to make a decision? i need to get rid of my boob as it tried to kill me and has put me through hell over this past year and is now still causing me issues!
I just dont want to make the wrong decision, I just don't know what that decision is..............
