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I had a very emotional but comforting easter weekend with my man, was very sad when he returned home Monday. Walked around the airport eyes full of tears as I know till surgery its just me and the hamster. A bit of space is always good but at the moment for me I would sooner be with others as im a bit scared of whats happening. Im 42 and this is bad luck but am thinking past the bad bit so we can get on with our lives and celebrate our first year together in June.
Finaly took myself to the doctors...
Hello all
It's been a while scince I've blogged. I returned to work last september having had a year off after my diagnosis with breast cancer. I have been trying so hard to return to 'normal' both for my own mental peace and my darling little girls. Things were going well, but fate decieded to hand me another blow, I had a heart attack on march 1st this year, caused by the radiotherapy I had. I thought that being told I had cancer was scary, but I really saw my life flash before me on that day...
All went well until christmas, then I knew something is wrong. Subsequent appointment revealed more abnornal cells or MrI booked for late April, followup in June. Here we go again........yikes :-( x
03 March 2012
We still haven't got round to naming his star. How ever will he manage to find his way to Rendezvous 2200 if we haven't given it the official name yet?!?!! Rendezvous 2200 officially named on 03/04/2012 - everyone told to watch out for shooting stars in the sky at night, daddy is en route. I thought nothing of it. A nice sentiment but shooting stars don't happen.
04 March 2012
Meteor Witnessed Across Britain
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-17249423
If ever I needed a sign...
The Tuesday after the fundraiser was strangely quiet. Gordy spent virtually the whole day in bed as he was completely exhausted. He was wedging his feet up against the wall at the head of the bed to try and ease the swelling. We tried to put together a leg rest with the washing basket and pillows but as soft as the pillows were, they still hurt his skin. How he managed to sleep with his feet up against the wall I do not know, but sleep he did. People were sending him messages on Facebook and SMS texts...
I got 'the phone call' from the Hospital at 9.45pm tonight....raced to get Mom round to look after my daughter and then raced to the Hospital. Got to the Ward at 10.14pm....2 minutes too late....can you believe it? You were still warm as I hugged and kissed you and my tears soaked your face....I just couldn't believe you were really actually dead.
I'm gutted, so gutted I wasn't there to hold your hand as you slipped away. There's only me, Mom and my 5 year old daughter so we've...
Cancer sucks! Yes, it does.
I never, ever thought I would ever get cancer except maybe something of the skin. I have been sunburned way too many times in my life, I am the original pasty white girl. Plus, skin cancer runs in the family. All that sunbathing when young. (Not me, I would never tan, just turn bright red and get fainty.)
I did have a cousin that died from lung cancer at the age of 39 but she started smoking when she was 9, or something.
Everyone in my family lives to be 90 or so. ...
02 March 2012
I held his hand. I kissed his hand. I begged him not to leave me. I told him I needed him. But more importantly I told him I loved him.
He is my hero. He is the Guide and the Weight of My World. He is my everything. And I am his mini-me.
I held his hand. He took his final breath. Or at least we thought he did. He is stubborn. He is brave. He is courageous. He is the most amazing man that I will ever know. He is a fighter. He is my father. He is my daddy.
I miss him.
Rewind.....
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