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It's now the end of Movember, and all around me folks have been growing the most ridiculous moustaches. I'm particularly aware of them this year, because in August this year I was diagnosed with testicular cancer. The 'cancer' tag brings a lot of baggage with it however not all cancers are equal. Testicular cancer, if caught early is nearly always survivable and almost 3 months on I'm back to doing all of the things I used to do. The earlier it is diagnosed the less treatment you'll have to endure...
the point of me moving in with my mum was so i could support her,emotionally,physically and financially.
im an emotional wreck,mostly in serious denial that anythings wrong, havent been paid 6 of my pays since ive been here so mums supporting me and the mortgage. and physically unable to do most the stuff required around renovating the flat as not knowledgible or able to do whats required.
am falling apart and feel so damned useless.
Hi, well todays been a rough one, theres been lots of tears in the house, including me. its horrid to see your once very strong and independant mum turn into a totally dependant one who sleeps all day and cries like a baby when she is awake. I wish this wasnt happening to her, i wish i could take it all away and bring my mum back, but i can't. I dont know how i will cope for the forseeable future. we are supposed to be moving into a bungalow next month too and im all on my own so have no idea how...
With everything going so quickyl downhill lately, the young ones are well aware how poorly daddy is. One tries to stay out of the way and avoid it all by going upstairs to play; one draws pictures and makes cards and sings to him, trying to will him better; the other gets drinks, takes rubbish, brings food, holds his hand. But none of them are safe from his hurtful words. He says them without realising. The old version of him wouldn't dream of speaking tot hem in this way. But the tumours on...
Its not death that scares us, we are born to die, death is inevitable, death is a new begining like life is the path to the end. We are used to live with death on our side and therefor we respect the life even more.
The fear starts when love wraps our life in layers of despair for we dont die and vanish in abiss, we live behind an empty space, a stench of suffering and lost for what we love and live for. Alone, unloved and dying without bringing suffering to no one or dying sorounded by loved ones...
It was only two and a half months ago that I turned 39. My birthday "bash" was great. Cancer was pretty much put to one side, and we all partied like it was 1999, haha. Photos of john and his brothers and me and my ex-workmates. Everyone looked so cheerful and we all really enjoyd each others' company.
Fast forward a month an a half and John is having trouble. So bad he needs a syringe driver and can't remember where the toilet is or how to use a fork. He improved after the steroids...
Well the weekend was good until Monday morning!! Good things never seem to last that long, I guess the trick is continuing to look as in the life of Brian -- always look on the good side of Life!!
My cousin struggling, and I have no doubt she will win, with lymphatic cancer! She has now completed the cycle of treatment, can once again breathe properly and eat, but has had to change her GP as it seems the first one is less than helpful! Her carer diagnosed with testicular cancer, and he is such...
