Post 527: Am I being a wuss or being too slow on the uptake?
On the day that England score 7 in a nations cup match I can’t put my finger on what to do for my back.
The day started ok and with the cat fed and my purple hoodie on for good measure I entered the garage with the intention of jumping in the mini and heading to the harbour to see all my biking mates with small bikes.
I had told them I’d be there and was excited to finally see them after a year when we didn’t get to see each other much. So today was important.
The cat watched as I pushed up the up and over garage door and opened the door to the mini - keys in hand. Now the car is small and low and it used to be a doddle to jump in, but now it’s a bit of a chore.
I held the door open as far as I could without it being in the catch that keeps it open so I had to keep one hand on the door as I descended bum first into the drivers seat.
The feet should have followed the bum but as the steering wheel is a major obstacle to swinging my legs in the door and under the steering wheel, and I had a right game getting the first foot in the footwell. It took a few pulls and pushes of my hands heaving my legs about to get the first leg in but then had a right job getting it far to the left and on or near the clutch all the time pushing away the door from trapping my right leg which was still outside the car.
At this point I was already tired and I had twisted my back and shoulders which didn’t help much, in fact it hurt pretty bad.
I had taken a gulp of morphine (oramorph) before setting off into the garage so to numb the back during the ride to the coast but it just wasn’t working fast enough.
I pulled and swore and pushed the door, the shoe and the second bloody foot would not come in the car. I was struggling but nearly there and with more force and more swearing I’d finally do it, but I just couldn’t.
I was about to give in when I got all the timing and strain right and pushing the door and the shoe finally got in the car. Phew!
The next problem was getting my feet on the peddles but they fell into place once I got sat back in my seat properly.
I started the engine and selected reverse and trundled out the garage backwards onto the drive.
With the door on the click and fully open I now had to get out the car and shut the garage door, but with more room it was slightly easier, then I had to get back in the car.
I was knackered but very determined to get away to the bikes and the harbour so I struggled back in the car after closing the garage door.
Yes it was a nightmare getting back into the car I just got out of but after another big struggle I made it in with exactly the same sort of problems as before. If a neighbor was watching it would have been very painful to watch, I’m sure, but I didn’t see anyone.
But, I was now buckled up and off down the road I finally went.
I got around the first mini roundabout without much trouble but my back and right shoulder was in more pain every time I moved to change gear or look left or right or check the blind spot behind me, but I thought I’d survive.
But a few more bumps down the road reminded me that there little suspension on minis and that my back was not able to stand much more of the pain.
I got to the next roundabout just before the bypass and a big dip in the road made the mini jump and it nearly killed my back and I knew that was it! I span around the roundabout with a tear in my eye and knew I had to get home now!
I pulled up at home in front of the damn garage doors and had to get out the car to open them again, to park the car inside; having the same damn problems as I had before but I had less strength and more anguish and embarrassment.
As I shut the garage door carefully with my back screaming at me to sit down I started to get very emotional about not being able to get to see my pals (and their bikes) and by the time I passed the sleeping cat and disappeared indoors I was in full meltdown. Streams of tears fell down my face as I sat in my comfy lounge chair as I tried my best to see the phone screen while trying to text my mates to say I was going to be a no show.
Sitting down I was in no pain, or very little pain, but everytime I moved my right arm or had to get up I was in agony.
I had to wait 4 hours for more Oramorph and boy oh boy did I need it.
This drive was a tester, and I failed, because I was thinking of driving to the counselling on Monday morning but that looks out of the question now.
I watched tv all day when I wasn’t feeding my face and making angry noises as I got up or down and hurt my back and shoulder some more.
On Monday i will get a call from the Hospice but I might have to ask the doctor as to a remedy for the back pain. Whether it be steroids or loads more slow release pain relief I don’t know, but I’ll get their opinion of my dilemma.
By the time my weary Darling arrived back home from a days work at 2pm I could sense she knew I was holding back on her, but I quickly guided her to bed to rest a while and recharge her batteries.
We had a wonderful salmon supper later and the just cooked fish was a pure delight. It was by far the best bit of the day even though the day started with such promise; before my back and the mini had a fight; I had better mention that briefly.
A couple of days ago I had seen online an advert for a concert at Christmas by our favourite singer songwriter Leddra Chapman. She is an absolute darling and such a character with a beautiful voice too. Anyway, we have been to many concerts of hers and met her several times as well as having her sing at our wedding, but that’s another story.
The thing is that I can get the weekend off to get to London for a Friday night show no problem but my Darling can’t.
This is because the rotary was already sorted apparently.
Well, this morning while I was still in bed I got a call from my Darling which is rare and worrying. But in this case it was to tell me to get the concert tickets because a manager (who’s on my Darlings side and our wavelength) had said that she could have the Saturday off and get to that concert.
Yippee!
So I started today spending a bit of money on tickets for the show and a hotel 3 minutes down the road from Denmark street (Tin Pan Ally as it used to be known) so we only need train tickets up to Tottenham Court Road and we are sorted.
How about that for a brilliant start to the day.
Who would know it would turn around and bite me on the bum.
So tomorrow I’m staying in bed and watching tv all day. Bugger it.
Sleep well and take care. xx
PS
The sleep situation is poor. My average in the last 21 days is 4.5hrs.
But no AFib today, and I started the Digexion pills so maybe they will help, although my resting heart rate is 49bpm and my daily heart rate is about 55bpm. I’ve got to monitor these stats and report back to the GP if it falls any lower - now I’m on the Digexion.
Nite nite.
Have a lovely Sunday.
