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After some flu like symptoms after the New Year and swollen neck glands which didn't really respond to the anti biotics, I found myself in front of the Doctor being told serious but not life threatening, but you have CLL. Please go to the Haematology clinic. In a state of shock and having searched and read all I could I went to the clinic in January and saw an intern who confirmed diagnosis and said come back in 6 months.
The six months are up and I go back at the end of June for blood tests...
Another weekend, yay. A couple more days free of treatment when I can get back to feeling more normal. Well a bit, anyway.
Today was a day of being mucked about really, clinic was running behind this morning (by about 45 mins too) and then radio was moved to this evening - the machine needed something doing to it, not sure what. At least there was no waiting tonight, which was better than hanging around for over an hour after the clinic to see if they could slot me in, as it were.
I'm now on the...
Wow...so I feel pretty drained this week. Dad has started on his erlotinib (tarceva)...him and mum went away last weekend just shortly after he had started taking them. It sounded like they had a lovely weekend away...everytime I spoke to Dad he sounded relaxed and happy. And so did mum...I think the break has done her the world of good too. Dad's appetite hasn't been great but when they were away he had a fry up every morning (his favourite so long as the bacon is burnt to a crisp!)...
So it's been another gap since my last post. I suppose that's a good thing really because it means that less has happened, fewer dramas, which can only be a good thing.
There are some things to offload though, so here goes.
Mum finished her first round of treatment just over a week ago. 6 weeks of daily radiotherapy and chemo (in pill format) all done and dusted. Initially she seemed to cope very well, but once the halfway stage passed, the cumulative effect seemed to kick in and she got...
Ever feel like cracking ya head against a brick wall? I am sure you do......I know i do!
Life feels like a series of steps.......one forward......two back........with the odd trip and stumble.
My Hubby, Andy, is tolerating his chemo for his bladder cancer so well. He is a credit to his own strength. He just started his 2 round of treatment yesterday with 6 hours of chemo.......and other than a little nausea and tiredness you wouldnt even know what he went through...I am incredibly proud of...
To quote that amazing song, "First I was afraid, I was petrified" but it goes on to say "I will survive."
Survivorship, that's what it is called when we get past treatment and sometimes that feels like an amazing thing. I mean, when you have been through a life changing event and come out the other side, faced death in the face and walked on the to have survived is no mean accomplishment. Other days though, and there are days when it feels like I'm just about hanging in...
Mum has been quite hard to deal with lately. Dont get me wrong I know she has an awful lot to deal with and I dont envy anyone who knows their own life is limited but My sister and I seem to be getting alternate days of nastyness from our Mum. Im at a point that I dont know what to say when I see her incase I start Mum off on one. yesterday I really struggled to go and see her. I know it sounds selfish but I dont want to remember my mum like that in our last months together I want to remember the...
10th June 2013
Today brings the appointment we have all been dreading. for someone sho refuses to discuss the fact she has cancer today I fear will be to much for mum. I know my sister and I are both scared of what they'll say so cant imagine how mum must be feeling.
We arrive at the hospital, walk through a long corridor to the cancer centre. We headed through the double doors to fing a large room with four sections listed A to D and a reception desk. to our right was a blood testing room...
The day has come to discuss everything and what will happen next.
My sister ,Mum and I head up to the hospital to see mr Greyerz (mums hospital doctor)
We get there and luckily only have to wait 5 minutes before we are called in. The three of us sit there and listen to the doctor explain that the main tumour is pressing on two arteries that go to the right ventricle of the heart. this is what caused mums admittance to hospital not a c.o.p,d flare up. The reason mums face was so red and swollen...
6th June 2013
Today was a strange day. I went to visit Mum at Dawns like I do everyday and found this woman who was normally kind and gentle being an absolute cow barking orders ant my sister and I and our husbands, giving dirty looks and generally being pushy. I know what she is facing is beyond my comprehension and the fact no ones allowed to talk about it doesnt help. My sister and I have to go out of the room to discuss anything and even if its not Mum related we get oh been talking about me...
