I have known since March that my Dad was going to die.
1st of all they gave us anything up to 18months. Then it was 6 months.
Monday night it was hours. Now it's days.
Monday night he was taken to hospital after having a fall, then a fit. (Which he has never had before)
We were taken into the family room and told to prepare for the end. Myself, my mum, brother and sister went to say our goodbyes. It was emotional, but we were glad that it would be over for him before he had to go through the last days of pain that he would have had otherwise.
It was suggested that he would never regain consciousness. I said ‘thank you’ to him, and told him that is was ok to give up the fight.
We went back into the family room as required and waited to hear anything else. They were moving him from the resus to a private room on a ward so we could be with him in his final hours. I have been emotional over the past few weeks, but nothing compared to this.
I felt horrible asking God to take my Dad, but it would have been for the best. My family are religious, and it is the only saving grace knowing my Dad will be in a better place.
After waiting for seemingly hours we were asked to go to another ward where my Dad was. When we got there he was awake!! He was coherent.. He knew where he was, he didn’t remember the fall, or fit thankfully, but he was normal. I have never felt such emotion: anger, sadness, joy, everything rolled into one.
I am glad my Dad didn’t die Monday, but I am angry that he went through that, only to have to now die in hospital fully aware of what’s going on. He wanted to die at home, but now he can’t. He still only has days according to the doctors, but they have been wrong before.
I am so confused!
