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Mum lost her second battle a year ago tomorrow, I can't believe it's gone by so fast. I'm dreading tomorrow if I'm honest as I wish she was still her. I'm not working tomorrow but the rest of my family are, yes we are having some fireworks to mark her death and a bonfire which is what she would of wanted.
Most post it's say it gets easier, which yes it does, I think I've been very lucky as it's only this time of year where all the 1st anniversaries are, her birthday in sept...
My other brother made a surprise visit today so we picked Mum up and went for a Sunday lunchtime drink in our favorite pub. The one Rob and I went to quite a lot before the big C happened. I was sat for quite a while before I realized the lady sitting nearby with her son and husband was bald. My thoughts went to cancer immediately and chemotherapy and hair loss, I am really frightened. I knew mum and brother had seen but weren't saying I also knew Rob hadn't seen. I spend time wondering if he will...
I feel like I've really begun to turn the corner now, and the biggest factor in this is the improvement in my eating. The steroids have definitely improved my appetite, and I seem to be hungry all the time! I'm also managing to eat a much wider range of foods. I can chew on the side that still has teeth, and my swallowing has improved. Stuff does sometimes get a little wedged, but a discrete coughing it back up and a bit more chewing and a drink of water does the trick.
The left had side...
My cancer has returned. and they are going to take my bladder away and I will have a bag. they have even given me a practice one to wear. I must fill It with water too so that I can get used to emptying It and walking about with It.....sleeping with It. I will do It. I will get used to It. I now have a growth In my chest. they are watching It. saying It Isn't getting any bigger. I never ever thought I of all people would end up In later life suffering this type of Illness. I've always been fit...
well im afraid i given up hope of not being given a terminal verdict next week, yes i know i thought these thought before but mainly because my consultant was forever telling me in september that i was in a very horrible position after the failure of HDC.
i had the lung operation on the 10 th of October and very soon i will have my first consultation concerning the results,
i can't see it possible that i will get away with out any more treatment,
nor can i see how it wont be just palliative...
Reclining in bed writing this. Returned from hospital yesterday following clearance of my left axillary nodes as a precaution because I did have cancer in that breast. Two types ductal and lobular. So now I have had bilateral mastectomy and axillary clearance right and left. Two operations in one month. Its good writing this blog because I get it all out and yet I still can't believe its me I am talking about. Other halfs just gone to get my prescription ..painkillers, laxitive and sleeping tablets...
