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I lost my dad nearly 3 years ago to lung cancer.. Just writing this I feel sick to the pit of my stomach, my heart is aching. I miss him every single day. How can I move on when I have lost my best friend and there is so much that reminds me of him. The smallest thing can bring back so many memories and I wish I could find them as happy memories but since he has died they are all memories that leave me sad and filled with hurt.
I was 21 when he died and I feel as though I was old enough to accept...
I want somewhere to crawl into, it must be dark and enclosed. And just for me. The rest of the world Is not welcome.
The meeting was every bit as difficult as I thought it was going to be. I'm not angry with my consultant or nursey, I'm frustrated with me. What I wanted went down like a lead balloon, I knew it would do. I don't doubt for one second that the MDT are clinically right about the lumpectomies and radiotherapy but I'm not happy. Nursey came up with a contingency plan. If anything of concern...
So, last weekened wifey started staying up all night and 're-organising' the bedroom. But her mobility improved so I wasn't too concerned about the sudden desire to keep her handbag with her ALL THE TIME. In fact, I went to cuddle her in bed, but couldn't becasue the handbag was in-between us. I had to laugh. I didn't laugh for long. Wifey had convinced herself that I was 'interfering' with her medication. Unbeknown to me, she had 'appropriated' her medicine and was hiding...
£6.49.
Really, that's all it cost to really make me happy. I know I'm cheap.
Determined not to stop doing everything I normally do, I pushed on. So Sunday came and I didn't have the energy to much more than a bit of nice gardening. Feet up with a cup of tea after the dead heading, I had a long browse on eBay. I had mistakenly entered a wrongly worded search, up came something I couldn't quite believe; the most amazing fabric hoard that had one hour to go and was only at 99p. Come bid...
I don't like taking drugs, today I surrendered. It's all very well trying to tough it out and cope, however, Lord do they help. I couldn't carry on with only four hours sleep. Time to wave the flag and admit my GP might have been right. It's amazing what a day in the shed can do too. I almost feel normal again. Still in a bit of pain but even that's more bearable when you're having a nice time.
It wasn't just the drugs that made today a good day, it was the new super lovely...
Afternoon all,
What have we been up to since our break?
Well the oldest two children returned home on Tuesday full of their holiday away with their grandparents. They had a lovely time, spend some time at a caravan and playing on the beach, going to the fun fair and just generally getting to be children enjoying a holiday. We are very grateful for my dad and my step-mum for doing this, giving them this time to be children. It is important for them to get a break.
Wednesday was lovely weather and...
Time is often about evaluating what we can do, how we can help, I wonder what more I can offer the cancer discussion, as “Brave the Shave” plays on, I think back….
The mist of a crisp August morning,
A wisp of my hair coming through,
Scalp kissed, with a fluff and a warning,
Hope gone is returning anew...
The wig, looking better than I do,
The gig's to pretend I don't mind,
"It's over" you say, yet two years away,
Still seeking the fringe I can't find!...
We made it! Tomorrow Keeley will be 6 years old and we are throwing the most fantastic birthday party for her, we have all her school friends coming to the house, bouncy castle, games and all sorts. We gonna spoil her silly!! I can't help but think that this will be her last birthday, so I want to make it amazing for her and all of us!
We also had the results of her MRI, the tumour has grown which is causing her symptoms to become worse, but it hasn't grown significantly or enough to constitute...
My usual bonhomie has bu**ered off.
I'm not saying it was done on purpose but it was damn well preventable. On Monday a stereotactic core biopsy was taken from an unanaesthetised area of my breast. I think I did well to scream only the once. I doubt it happens very often but I'm peeved. It hurt like hell for the best part of 36 hours and it's still extremely painful and tender. And the dressing covering both boobs punctured on Monday has caused sores where it's cut the skin. I have had enough. I...
The severity with which one goes up and down is striking. You seem to make good progress and then wham! suddenly you slip right back down and are struggling again. Last week, which was the 4th post-treatment week, was a case in point. I had my first drink in a cafe for well over six weeks. It was only sparkling water but hey, I could drink it! I even went to the beach and paddled with the kids in the sea. But then it all started to go pear-shaped on Sunday evening when I vomited a little. It went...
