This week my husband, my son and I have travelled to Russia to see my mum. All my family insisted on staying at my dads as my mum not well even though I was disagreed until my mum herself suggested it.
Seeing her for the first time was heartbreaking as I can imagine that our parents don't get younger but she looked 10 years older to me though I saw her only 2 years ago. It wasn't my mum but looked more like my grandma. She lost around 12 kg, got all pale and weak. The only thing which was still the same was her voice. That's what was misleading me all these weeks from building the full picture about how serious it all was as we were always talking on face time and I would never see full picture there but the voice always sounded the same as when I used to live with her.
That week gave me more time to think and analyse as never. I came full of emotion and left with the decision of being strong for her and my family. Even though I still cry of hopeless and cruel reality of cancer.
The positive side for me was that the person I met a week ago got cheered up by us. We made her meals, cleaned her flat, ironed the clothes and moreover gave her that precious time of communication with us and my son who made her fears and negativity flew away. The only thing I'm hoping now is that I will be able to show her our little baby girl who's due in the next 4 months
