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This is my second round of FEC tomorrow and I am once again dreading everything that comes with it!!! The smell, the sickness, diahorrea and not eating!!! But I will do it and smash it!!! I have Christmas to look forward to with my 2 young boys and amazing supportive fiancée and my birthday which I will be turning 30!!! And I will be having a few glasses of wine to celebrate!!!
Tuesday 13th December.
It's been a strange day, we went to do a bit of Christmas shopping this morning, ( it was a hat, not wig day) in a lovely little seaside town, while we were there we walked the dogs in the park, It felt like an effort to make conversation, all I could think was that last time we were there I was so happy, I had that feeling again that I wanted to wake up from this awful dream, but I know it's not a dream, it's bloody real and it's about me.
I...
Well here i am again 7 years later with breast cancer only this time with secondaries in the bone. i know my last blog said i wasnt going through with chemo but my mind was changed and i did it and then had radiotherapy and then got on with the rest of my life............ or so i thought....... found small pea size lump in the neck went to see GP and before i knew it i was having a biopsy which showed the cancer was on the move, ct and bone scans showed it was in the lymph nodes and in the sternum...
So I guess this is something I have wanted to write about for a while now, however I know this is something that will always be pretty raw for me so it's about being brave and taking the plunge I guess. "Where it all began" to me is now a part of my life that I have to live through every single day.
The way I see it is, everyone has their own story and I guess this can be a personal story regarding you, or a story about someone else that is close enough for it to effect you and basically...
So Mums lung cancer has grown a little bit more than her first x-ray in July. She's in respite because I was really starting to struggle- i was caring for her 24/7 and hardly had a break, lucky if i got an hour at a time. They put her on 30mg of MR oxycodone but that's made her very sleepy and confused. The palliative team have suggested a lower dose of oxycodon and another kid of pain relief that treats nerve pain, so hoping she gets to feel less pain soon. She's gone downhill so quickly and I am...
I had my appointment with the consultant last week. She carried out a full check up using the ultrasound and everything seemed fine so far.
Lots of dates to enter into my diary:
Mid January - return to work.
February - bone scan and check up with oncologist.
May - mammogram and ultrasound 1 year post diagnosis.
I am looking forward to returning to work in the new year. Emotionally, I feel more in control than I did a few weeks ago. I realise there is no point even worrying...
Monday 12th December.
The last couple of days have been uneventful really, except that I had another fall out with the wig yesterday. I went out with it on for the first time in the morning, just to the co-op, it drove me absolutely crazy, the fringe was flopping all over, I wanted to rip it off in the shop. I didn't care what people thought, but I really didn't want to frighten the children in there. We got held up at the till as the person in front had a query over the price of something and...
So I was due for radiotherapy but it's been cancelled as my heart is too far to the left and will be damaged if I have radiotherapy. Met with my oncologist for my surprise appointment in whichever I was told that I would need to have ANC and try the deep breath radiotherapy but there was no guarantee that this wouldn't damage my heart either, so that's out of the question. The other option open to me is a mastectomy with ANC. So I have gone for this option but I didn't realise that there was so many...
Sarurday 10th December.
It was another ok day today, except for the bit when I tried to put my wig on, I just couldn't get it on right, I never asked the wig lady what to do with my ears, does the wig go behind or over my ears. I tightened the wig with the straps and tried again, still no joy, it looked so good when I tried it on when I had hair and with the wig lady. It was so disappointing. I wanted to cry, then I thought, hold on it's only a wig, there are bigger things going on in your life...
Well, that was eventful. I really am a 'sicky' person.
12 hours after my first (uneventful) FEC, I am back in hospital being hooked up to a drip and given IV anti-sickness medication. Over the course of the day, they fill me with a bag of fluid, another IV antisickness, two antisickness injections, and some tablets. I can barely eat and I know I am in trouble when the nurse insists on NHS-approved high-calorie chocolate mousse for pudding after my teatime honey on toast (I slept through...
