I had a meeting with my colorectal surgeon on Tuesday. Good and bad news (as always). My chemotherapy, a combination of Folfox and Cetuximab, has had excellent results on the tumours in my liver but have not been as beneficial on the tumours in my bowel. They have shrunk but not to the same extent.
Anyway, due to the positioning of the tumours in my bowel (they’re quite a distance apart) and due to family history of my Dad dying of bowel cancer I have been recommended to have a pan-proctocolectomy where they remove the entire colon, rectum and anus. I will have a permanent ileostomy. An alternative was offered whereby I would be left with a small part of my colon but this would greatly increase the possibility of a return of my cancer. Both options mean a permanent stoma and bag.
It was a lot of information to take in and there are pro’s and con’s with each option. I have opted for the full monty to reduce the risk of a return. I know it will be life changing in terms of diet etc. but I owe it to myself and all those that love me and have supported me this last year to give myself the best possible chance of being ‘cured’.
Is there ever a right answer? I don't know, We’ll see.
The stoma nurse I saw was excellent. She demonstrated what the bags look like (I always imagined them as much bigger), how they’re applied, emptied and replaced. I have a practice stoma that I can stick on my belly and have a practice carrying the bag around. They have a gel like substance to add to give an impression of what it feels like ‘non-empty’. She also gave a few tips on diet which will take some getting used to but that is what the situation is.
So next steps are an appointment with my oncologist on Wednesday to discuss where we are with the liver tumours, a pre-op assessment and an appointment with the anaesthetist the week after and if all ok (and they’ve got a bed) my operation on Friday 3rd February.
I should add that due to my ‘width’ (they didn’t actually say fat) I will be having open surgery. I don’t think the surgeon’s tools are long enough to be honest. So a nice long scar which I’ll obviously be telling people is where I survived a shark attack.
Now it’s a case of counting down the days and hoping that a bed is available.
I can’t say I’m looking forward to the surgery. In fact I’m terrified! Lots of if’s and but’s, possible outcomes and things that could go wrong (especially the list on the consent form I signed…scary). It’s a 4 hour operation with all the inherent risks with the anaesthetic etc. But I’ve known from very early on that this operation may save my life or at least extend my time on planet Earth. If I don’t have it then my chances of growing up to be an even grumpier old man will be gone. Plus I am currently in a great deal of pain that I want an end to. I’m surprised I don’t rattle with the amount of painkillers I’m taking. The liquid Morphine helps me sleep but I avoid it during the day as it ‘zombies’ me and I find it difficult to function as a human being. I know I may be in pain after of my operation but hopefully it will decrease as I heal.
And when all this is done there's my liver to 'fix'.
So onwards and upwards. I’m travelling up to Yorkshire to see Mum and my brother. Hopefully the weather and traffic gods will be kind to me.
