Thursday 20h January 2017
Well I'm home after ten days away at my daughters, I am missing my grandson so, so much but I feel very happy that he's settled and my daughter is coping really well and enjoying being a mum. She needed me there at that time and I got there, even with all this madness going on I was there and I enjoyed every single second.
We did normal things, we went shopping with the baby, went to cafes, we laughed a lot and cried a little and reminisced together, precious, precious days. The icing on the cake was my younger daughter coming for the weekend too.
I've given up thinking about how different things would've been if I hadn't got cancer, there's no point, it's upsetting, it happened and there's no changing that. I've decided instead to imagine how wonderful it'll be when the treatment is over and I can visit without worrying about taking injections, pills, getting infections, taking hats, wigs etc.
I forgot I have cancer lots of times while I was away as I was so busy thinking of my daughter and grandson it was lovely, it made me realise that I can feel normal and enjoy life even with treatment going on, I just have to be organised and sensible.
So I am sitting here back at home, we have holiday makers here in or let's this weekend, we are visiting family around our bookings and we are going to our younger daughters on Sunday for a few days, I am getting on with things, trying to concentrate on this day and how I can make this day nice, and trying not to worry about things I have no control over. I slept for seven hours last night and I don't wake up with awful dread every morning, I wake up, take my temperature and get on with things, a few weeks ago I wouldn't have thought that was possible. Little by little I'm getting there.
Stop this ride...I want to get off!!!
