Dealing with my mum having a short amount of time to live, feeling unable to cope

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Hi all

My mum was diagnosed 4 weeks ago with lung cancer, went into hospital with back pain but no other symptoms. She remained in hospital for 5 weeks, and was discharged on Friday and bought home. When I saw her, I instantly knew she was not well. She's lost about 3 stone, on about 30 pills a day, and not eating or drinking. They discharged her with a hospital bed, and I spent two nights sleeping on the floor next to her. Yesterday, the carers called an ambulance as she needed oxygen. She was taken back into hospital with a chest infection. They told my dad they can't do any treatment on her because she's too weak. She's so upset because she spent so long being positive about her diagnosis and was determined to pull through.

I am absolutely in shock, heartbroken and I don't know what to do. Shes deteriorating so quickly, and I cannot stand to think of her alone in the hospital. I genuinely don't know how to cope with this news. I've not eaten for 2 days, have no appetite and cannot even think about working at the moment. 

Thanks in advance x

  • Dear kate2021

    I am so very saddened to read about your Mum, firstly having the diagnosis but then going back into hospital with a chest infection, to be told that due to weakness there is no treatment for her.  It is understandable that you are in shock, watching the quick deterioration of you Mum will be heart-breaking and although you feel as if you don't know how to cope with the news, you will, somehow, but to ensure that you are strong enough to continue to function just on a basic level, you must try to eat and drink, even if it is little and often. 

    I imagine you feel sick to the stomach, just the thought of eating will make that worse, but please try, for you, for Dad and for Mum as they too will need your strength.

    I am sending love and strength to you all for the coming days and hope that the chest infection can be successfully managed in some way.

    Don't forget you can call the Macmillan line as shown in my signature, even if it is only for someone to listen to you. 

    Thinking of you.

    Lowe

    Call the helpline for free on 08088080000, 8am to 8pm everyday.
    Tomorrow is not promised but it always has potential. Aim for your potential!