My mum passed away 2 weeks ago from bowel cancer with mets in her liver and lung.
I found this forum very helpful when we were in the thick of it and wanted to write down our experience to hopefully help others.
My mum was diagnosed with advanced bowel cancer in June 2025, and passed away 9 months later.
She had an operation to remove the tumour in her bowels which was successful. Unfortunately due to the tumour having been spotted late, the cancer was already all over her liver and in parts of her lungs.
Her symptoms had been stomach issues for about 6 months which the doctors thought were IBS. She also lost a lot of weight.
She was waiting for a colonoscopy. She was finally diagnosed at A&E through a CT scan. We’d gone to A&E two days in a row because she started vomiting with small bits of digested food.
She was treated as an emergency with surgery the next day.
She then had two different types of chemo which very slightly reduced the size of the tumours and then not at all. In this time, she became fatigued and her legs swelled up a lot, but she was still active especially for the first 3-4 months after diagnosis.
She was told at the end of January 2026 that the treatment was no longer working.
At this time, we were not surprised as she had become much more fatigued, and her stomach had begun to swell.
We left the care of the Christies hospital and were passed onto the community MacMillan nurses.
I moved in to care for her in January, just before we were told the treatment wasn’t working. I did this as she had become unstable and I didn’t think she was able to care for herself anymore.
It was difficult for me to know who to contact for assistance.
We managed to get carers to come once a day to help with personal care (washing). This was through social services.
We set up a food delivery service so I didn’t have to cook (one less thing to worry about)
For urgent care we would contact macmillan first.
You can also contact the district nurses in the community to ask for advice.
Unfortunately there is no service for someone to come in once a week and just sit with your loved one. You have to ask friends/family to help with this. I found this part particularly challenging, being able to care for myself and my mum at the same time.
She got worse quite quickly as the symptoms from the cancer in her liver took over.
I wish I had known what to expect and I hope this helps others.
I called Macmillan once I’d found her on the floor multiple times at night, because she really needed someone who could be up with her overnight (obviously I had to sleep at some point). I asked for her to be put in the list for the hospice. She got a bed 2 days later, and passed away 9 days after arriving at the hospice.
In the hospice she was anxious about dying but they gave her medication to help the anxiety. The first few days she would still smile but at about day 5 she was essentially passed out, and she stopped eating and drinking.
She got pain medication but the pain was never her biggest symptom. Up until the last 2 weeks, she could manage the pain through paracetamol.
The hospice staff were absolutely incredible, also for us as a family. They called us when her breathing changed and we were able to sit with her and hold her hand as she passed.
If you can, try to ask your loved one for their funeral / burial wishes, who to tell when they pass, and for their bank details. Make sure you or a family member is an executor on their Will.
Sending lots of love to anyone going through this. It has been an incredibly challenging 9 months but gives me a lot of comfort to have supported her at every step of the journey. Please make sure to look after yourself and ask for help from those around you with things like cooking you food, helping with cleaning etc so you can focus on caring for your loved one.
