Coping with husbands diagnosis

Hello, you are not alone with this. In fact I thought it was me who had written your post.

My husband is exactly the same. Got his diagnosis just 1 day before Christmas! From then on he slowly lost the ability to eat and even drink.  Unfortunately, they are unable to operate so he is relying on chemotherapy and immunotherapy to shrink the tumour.  In the meantime, his ability to eat and even drink slowly deteriorated, he was bringing up large amounts of foamy mucus which prevented him from swallowing. He was drowning in his own saliva!  Anyway he spent time on the cancer ward and had a nasal tube fitted down to his stomach as he was loosing so much weight. He now has an overnight feed and Fortisips during the day. The good news is he’s started his treatment now round 3 chemo/immunotherapy….. and I’m pleased to say he’s started to swallowing again and eating very small amounts of soft foods. He’s still got the feeding tube in but we are hopeful it will be taken out in the not too distant future.

i had and still have exactly the same feelings as you … we used to love eating out in fancy restaurants, afternoon teas, pub lunches ….now no longer possible. Holidays cancelled. As you say, dreams of the perfect retirement have disappeared.  but we can’t give up, we have to battle everyday. It is so hard and I struggle every day with my feelings. I feel so sad. On top of all this ….i am only two years out from my own cancer battle. Life is so unfair sometimes but we can’t give up. 

I could have written this. My husband was diagnosed with stage 3 osophegeal cancer 3 weeks ago although he was first diagnosed back on February and has had various tests, we only found out the stage when he was handed a report of his last gastroscopy. At no point has anyone sat us down and explained his options to us. We have a virtual appointment with the oncology consultant at the end of the month! I am now in complete despair and struggling to cope.  

total despair

I feel exactly the same. Some days I just want to give up and end it all. 
This time last year we were celebrating my daughter’s remission from lymphoma after a dreadful year. To go through it all,again and most likely not get the same result is just too much

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I am feeling exactly the same. I don’t want to give up but I feel so much is being taken away from us and can’t see us ever having our lives back to normal again….

Hi Eloise ,

I’m so sorry to hear about how cancer has impacted your family. I can’t imagine how challenging it must be to face not only your daughters struggles with cancer but also have your Husband be diagnosed. It’s positive that you’re here though, reaching out for support on our Online Community. Please know you’re not alone, and support is here to help with how you’re feeling.

I just wanted to reach out and let you know there are organisations available to you to speak to if you’re feeling like you’re in crisis and need urgent support:

• You can reach out to the Samaritans on their phoneline on 116 123, they’re here 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, and can be right alongside you to face whatever you’re going through together.

• Mind is a UK-based mental health charity, which you can call on 0300 123 3393 or text 86463 for mental health support.

You can also contact our specialist support line for guidance, advice or just a listening ear. We’re here 7 days a week, from 8am – 8pm and can be contact on 0808 808 0000. If you’d rather not speak over the phone though, you can reach out to us via email, or live webchat.

Please know you and your family are not alone, and the Online Community is here to help and support you to find your best way through, so please do continue to reach out and talk to us.

I really hope your appointment at the end of the month provides some answers and reassurance for you and your Husband. Please do let us know how you get on. In the meantime though, if you’d like to talk to people who have experience with oesophageal cancer, we have a dedicated space here that you can join and speak to others on, so please do feel free to post there if you think it might help. 

I hope this is all okay, and once again please remember you’re not alone.

Take care,