Dad's prostate cancer - hormonal therapy to chemotherapy

Hi Lizbet 

Welcome to our community, I hope you find it both informative and supportive.

I am Steve, one of the community champions and my experience of cancer is via my wife who has Leiomyosarcoma.

Janice had two different types of chemotherapy and the second of those rendered her cancer stable and it has been that way for over 10 years now, most of that time I have been supported both by Maggies and Macmillan.

In my time I have seen a number of people who work in cancer who have found that things can feel very different when it is someone close. Sometimes I wish it was as easy to do the "be strong" bit as it is to type. Something I found quite helpful was looking at your feelings when someone has cancer as being able to recognize these emotions and accept them as part of the new normal helps me get less overwhelmed.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Thank you Steve for replying. 
I am pleased to hear Janice’s diagnosis is stable and hope that it continues this way for you both. 

I have really struggled with the concept of pumping ‘poison’ into my dad with the hope it will have a positive affect on his long term outcome with no guarantee. I feel conflict between my job and role of a daughter, we often talk about quality of life not quantity as healthcare professionals but it’s a whole new ballgame when it is someone you love. I know the job I do can have a positive impact on patients and families, however I rarely see them on a bad day when they question if keeping going with their treatment is the right thing to do. 

We have a MacMillan team where I work and they are fabulous, and have helped my family with a few things. 

Liz

Hi Lizbet. I have just joined this forum and felt like I connected to your post so wanted to reach out. I am so sorry to hear of your dad's diagnosis but I feel exactly the same with my mam being very stressed and also being forgetful (the horrible brain fog of overwhelm). 

You sound like a wonderful professional and thank you for your service in your profession. I guess it's easy for a stranger to say 'be kind to yourself, you're going through a hard time'. When people say that to me I know they mean well but it also means nothing being a worrier. It's always different when the relationship is personal so I can only imagine being in it in your job makes it even harder being there privately and for your dad (in which it sounds like you have a great loving relationship).

My dad's prostate cancer was diagnosed when he went to the drs complaining of achey hips. He is the kind of man who before now has probably been about 5 times in his life. His psa levels were close to 300 and came down to 0.8 with tablets but they stopped working after 14 months. They've moved him onto chemo now. The first two rounds didn't work as he had a bad reaction and couldn't breathe with his blood pressure going dangerously high both times. They've changed it to a different type now and he successfully managed the full bag and is going for his second round on Thursday. His psa levels are climbing again and they've found a hole in his gums revealing bone. He's had a biopsy today to see if the cancer has spread to the jaw. His cancer has already spread to his spine, hips, femur, ribs and lymph nodes. It's a 'manage pain and prolong quality of life' kind of deal at the moment but as you can imagine, every bit of bad news hits hard because he wants to fight it. My mam has said he's not allowed to, in her words, 'pop his clogs' until their 30th wedding anniversary next May. Sorry if my sharing is morbid and not sensitive....we are quite open in my family in how to talk. 

I also don't have questions or advice or anything other than wanting to talk to you, thinking you may understand. 

I am an Art Teacher with a cavapoo called Bunny and a black and white cat called Bean who keep me company. I like walking in nature, reading, anything creative (just trying my hand at felt embroidery which is very outside of my comfort zone as I'm a painter usually) and go to a zumba class to 'shake it off' once a week. I hope we can chat again.