My mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer over a year ago and has been receiving treatment since. My mum is my best friend and I always got through with the knowledge one day she would be okay and back to her usual self. A few days ago we were given the news her treatment is no longer working and she has around 3 to 6 months left. My heart is utterly broken. It was such a shock and I don’t know how to process it or come to terms with the truth.
Along with covid this year I have felt very isolated and have struggled mentally more than I ever thought I could. Following the months of distancing from friends and family to keep my mum safe I started university. It was hard being away from her but nice to finally have a distraction and be able to meet people. With the news that my mum does not have long left I do not know whether to go back or not. I want to spend all the time with her I can but it’s so hard not being able to hug and cry on friends and loved ones after telling them the news.
I would love to know if anyone else is struggling with news similar in a time where the only way to protect those vulnerable is to isolate ourselves.
Hello Mary
I am so sorry to read that treatment has stopped working for your Mum, what a devastating blow to you both.
I wanted to respond to your post because it has been a few hours since you posted and I wanted you to know that others are here, they are reading your words, but sometimes it is hard to find any words of comfort to reply with.
The only thing I can say is that the information Mum has been given, although a terrible shock is only a prognosis, your Mum's own determination and mindset may extend that further. There is always hope, and whilst Mum is able and not in pain, the belief in tomorrow is strong!
My Husband had a terminal prognosis, for a different cancer, (just over a year at most even with treatment) he fights it everyday and we look to the future and not to a deadline... One of my daughters is also in Uni as is my granddaughter, other daughters work and have their own families, they all want to be around and there for their Dad/Granddad as you do for Mum, and in reality it is only you who can make the decision that is right for you. Maybe talk to Mum, see what she says? For my Husband, whilst he is doing well, it is not the time to worry, he says focus on the positives and live every day of life to the best of your ability... but that's his thoughts...you and Mum will have your own.
I understand also when you say that you don't know how to process and come to terms, I still fight with the devastation at my husbands diagnosis and know that every month we are nearer to their suggestion, so I battle with my heart that is breaking and with my head which tries to stay strong, whilst tapping away with fear deep into my core. Its normal and to be expected, we all deal with this differently... I hope you find your way of dealing with it and that your Mum beats the prognosis.
Stay strong. (as best you can!)
Lowe'
Thank you for your message! It’s really helped me hearing your story, which I am so sorry to hear, but your optimism is so inspiring. I am trying to spend every day just cherishing the time that I have with mum rather than worrying about how much I have left (which is rather difficult as my brain likes to overthink everything). Especially with Christmas tomorrow I am grateful to spend it at home with my parents 
I have had both good days and bad days but I am coming to terms with the fact that that is okay and expected in this time. The covid situation is what makes all of this so much more difficult I’ve found but in a way I am grateful it gives me more time to spend with mum. I hope you are coping well and I wish you a very merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas Mary, we have got this far... now to take on New Year!
Best of luck
Lowe'
Dear Fox71
I am so sorry that you have received this devastating news re you mam, it makes it harder still to have this information given right on top of Christmas, but I hope that managed to enjoy some time with mam over the past few days.
It is fully understandable that your emotions are at breaking point, yet Yyour words to Sunflower are so encouraging, your strength shines through in your post and I hope it stays with you over the next days or weeks...
I hope that your mam is able to spend time with her family and loved ones surrounding her, and that her time is pain free.
Sending additional strength and thoughts to you and your mam at this very tough time.
Lowe'
